Remember The Green Cross Code

5/2/13, 12:27, 111818 views (when posted)

Hollywood teaches us many things, such as that if you're rich and pretty, everything works out, or that ridiculous coincidences are in fact either fate or God. It teaches us that horror monsters are racist and that if you're a muscly man with a gun, you become nigh-on indestructible. This video, however, highlights an important lesson from both TV and film: DON'T JUST STAND IN THE SODDING ROAD.

I mean, seriously, walking backwards and not noticing the height difference between kerb and road is apparently a basic human trait, so please, when arguing with someone, don't wander backwards if you hear traffic. If your heart is being broken by what you see on the other side of the road, don't let your bones follow suit. Basically, always, always remember the Green Cross Code.

THINK! Find the safest place to cross, then stop.

STOP! Stand on the pavement near the kerb.

USE YOUR EYES AND EARS! Look all around for traffic, and listen.

WAIT UNTIL IT'S SAFE TO CROSS! If traffic is coming, let it pass.

LOOK AND LISTEN! When it's safe, walk straight across the road.

ARRIVE ALIVE! Keep looking and listening.

Well, that's the 2005 version of the Green Cross Code. Back in MY day it was just the simple Stop, Look and Listen, and we worked out the rest either for ourselves or with help from a family of hand-drawn hedgehogs. Silly nanny state! Did any of us get slaughtered by a bus with our easy-to-remember version? No we didn't! Aside from people looking at their phones instead of the road. Bah...

Anyway, this code clearly needs to be introduced in America, where it's either unheard of to wait and check for traffic before crossing the road, or a place of death and destruction where buses run rampant and encourage taxis and vans to do the same. If it's the latter, then hopefully they can move on very soon from all this gun malarkey and focus on Bus Control!

Also, if you're walking across the road willy nilly and see a bus, whatever you do, don't stop walking and stand there looking at it like a melon. You IDIOT. Just run faster!

I hope you can learn from 12 and a half minutes of people making the same mistake and suffering consequences of varying goriness.