Happy Holidays From SBV8!!

And a Happy New Year!!

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Watching Someone Hoon A Rolls-Royce Is Oddly Satisfying

13/12/12, 1:49, 3436 views when posted

Rolls-Royce is the epitome of luxury, opulence and excellence. To own a Phantom is to say either "I've made it" or "I was born into a stupendously rich family". It's the last surviving "land yacht", massive, smooth, massive, exceedingly comfortable, and also quite massive. It's supposed to glide from place to place in a stately and calm manner, only leaving tarmac to use an unnaturally-even gravel driveway, perhaps with a huge fountain to drive around before arriving at a set of stone steps leading to marble pillars.

However, if you had a lot of your own land, a newly-facelifted 2012 Phantom and too much time to kill, you might be tempted to loosen your tie and see if you can make the butler dance. That's what this anonymous person decided to do, anyway. While it's completely ungentlemanly - and therefore inappropriate - to do this in a Rolls-Royce Phantom, it's also oddly satisfying to watch, and must've been more so to do. You see, while this whole millionaire lifestyle thing is all very classy, it's also rather snobbish. Eventually, anyone living such a life who still possessed a soul would get bored of it all and want to have fun with it, or just be comfortable with themselves for a change. I don't mean something tasteless like go to a black-tie party in a t-shirt with a tuxedo print on it and start being an arse to people, but just that thing of dropping pretensions and getting over oneself. Whether the driver is the chauffeur, outright owner or perhaps even a sneaky valet, they've decided to take an automotive monarch and have it do something silly and out of character. Hoonage - however pleasant its background piano music is - is not classy or proper. But it is pretty fun, especially in something with a V12 and rear-wheel-drive.

At least, I hope that's what's going on here, and I'll continue thinking that. It could always just be some lottery winner who doesn't give a shit......

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12 Reasons 12 Is The Best Number

OK, so it's 12/12/12 today. Unless you write out the entire year, it's the last completely repetitive date of the millennium. So let's stick with the number 12, because when it comes to engines, it's probably the greatest number of them all. Here are 12 reasons why 12 cylinders gets 12 out of 10 from me. Twelve.

1 - Matra MS670 Le Mans

This is perhaps my favourite engine sound, an early-mid 1970s 3.0-litre, 450bhp V12 from French company Matra (back when France was still a major force in motor racing). The MS670 it sat in won Le Mans three times in a row between 1972 and '74. It also makes the kind of noise you just don't get from modern engines, even modern V12s.

2 - McLaren F1

(Skip to 4:07 if you just want engine noise)

The McLaren F1 is one of the top 5 greatest cars ever made, and many would argue that it still edges into the top 1. One of the many reasons for this is the BMW-sourced, gold-lined BMW 6.0-litre V12 that makes around 640bhp and propels it to a top speed (with a raised rev limiter) of 240mph. A long-standing record that has only been beaten by forced-induction cars (Koenigsegg CCR/CCX, Bugatti Veyron, etc.). So this is still the fastest-ever car with a naturally-aspirated engine. That will probably remain true for a very long time yet.

Either skip ahead to the business, or watch the whole video for an explanation of what it's like to drive and own.


3 - Ferrari

Of course, Ferrari have been championing the V12 engine since the 1960s, and never have they been lacking in the way of aural sex (if you'll excuse the racy pun). My personal favourite is quite possibly the 5.9-litre engine in the Enzo. There's something about deep-sounding 6- and 12-cylinder engines that just does it for me. It's very menacing while being far more interesting than some big V8. TVR Speed Sixes are a good example of a six-pot engine that has the same effect. After the Enzo and 599, the current-gen V12 just sounds a wee bit synthetic in comparison. Perhaps you prefer something a little more classical, though?

This isn't actually the best video for sound, but there's some pretty heroic driving in it!


4 - Aston Martin

Aside from the V8 Vantage, every Aston Martin since the Vanquish in 2001 has used the effectively the same engine, with various tweaks and updates along the way. It's a Ford-derived 6.0 V12 that has perhaps the most glorious sound of any road car. Frankly, in my books, the Vanquish was the best-sounding car for ten years, until the screaming Lexus LFA came along. If V10s or £300,000 Toyotas don't float your boat though, then revel in this British orchestra.


5 - Lamborghini

(unfortunately the original HD version of this appears to have been taken down...)

When it comes to supercars, though, nobody does exciting like Lamborghini. A whole range of theatrical sounds come out of that V12, developed from the original Miura right up until the above car, the 2010 Lamborghini Murciélago LP670-4 Super Veloce. Between those two cars, there was also this Countach, which sounds, well... like that.

The Aventador again sounds slightly less genuine than its forbears, but it is somewhat reminiscent of the McLaren F1...


6 - Pagani

Pagani may not be as historical as the other names on here, but in less than ten years since it started in 1999, they've managed to make themselves an established name in the supercar club with the Zonda, which for most of its life sported a whopping 7.3-litre made-by-AMG V12 engine making anything from 500-650bhp or more. The early '00s C12 S is deeper, whereas the subsequent Fs, Cinques and the astonishing Zonda R all had a higher singing range.

Sadly the 6.0-litre Huayra that replaced it this year is less operatic, being as it is muted by a pair of turbochargers. Perhaps the best blend of all the Paganis is the Zonda 760RS*, one of which was given a manual gearbox instead of the 7-speed sequential 'box and renamed "760LH" for a certain Formula 1 driver...

*your ears want you to skip to 7:52.


7 - Ferrari Formula 1

Speaking of F1 drivers, anyone my age will say that Formula 1 cars should have a 3.0 V10 equipped, and I tend to agree, because it's the sound I grew up with, but before the size and cylinder count was standardised, Ferrari ran a 3.5-litre V12, and it sounds like this. After pressing play, you will not need it explained.

What would a modern equivalent sound like? Perhaps a raspier, slightly higher-pitched version of the FXX and 599XX.


8 - Honda RA272

Long before Ferrari screamed in two or three different pitches at once, Honda made the RA272. In only their second year of existence they decided to take on Formula 1, using a 1.5-litre, water-cooled, horizontally-mounted V12 revving up to a then-unheard-of 14,000rpm. The innovative engine - a stressed member of the chassis - gave the RA271 and later 272 noticeably better acceleration than its rivals. After an unsuccessful opening bid, a year later in 1965 Richie Ginther drove a pole-to-flag victory at the Mexican Grand Prix to score the first ever win for a Japanese car. It also sounds great.


9 - Rolls-Royce Merlin

The following video contains sixteen Spitfires. The Merlin V12 was used in fighter planes and tanks, and pretty much saved our bacon in the 1940s.


10 - Auto Union Type D

To balance things up a bit, here's a dominant German machine. In 1930s Grand Prix racing, the "Silver Arrows" of Mercedes and Auto Union (now called Audi) dominated all.


11 - Jaguar XJ13

I almost forgot about this car, which I shouldn't have, what with how good it is in Gran Turismo 5. The 5.0-litre, Dual Over-Head Camshaft (DOHC) engine was mounted behind the cockpit for the first time in Jaguar's history, as they mounted a challenge on the Le Mans 24 Hours in the 1960s. Sadly, by the time the utterly gorgeous XJ13 was ready to go, it was already out of date compared to the Ferrari 330P3/4 and Ford GT40, so they canned it. Happily, the one car they did make still exists, and gets brought out for some fun once in a while. Yet more aural sex.


12 - Top Secret V12 Supra

I bet you can't tell me what the only ever rear-wheel-drive V12 car Japan has ever made is called. It's a Toyota, but not a Supra. It is in fact the second-generation Toyota Century! In that very Japanese-looking luxury car, the 5.0-litre engine is making a measly 280PS (276bhp) to conform to a now-defunct Gentleman's Agreement between Japanese car companies not to exceed that power figure. Well, not officially, anyway! A man called "Smokey Nagata", the boss of tuning company Top Secret, decided this engine needed to be put to better use, so he lifted it out of the sleepy limo and dropped it into a Mk.IV Supra. While the Supra's engine bay is designed for a straight-six, and is therefore long enough to accept a V12, the front end was reworked and, perhaps controversially, restyled. No matter, because when it's working you'll only see the back of it; the Top Secret Supra's V12 was, of course, heavily modified, now boasting twin turbochargers and 950 horsepower. Yeah, that should be a decent amount of power I think. The torque figure given in the above video is 100kgfm, which is 723lb/ft. This shove is enough to apparently reach a tremendous 420km/h, which is 261mph. Whether this is to be believed, who knows? It is nevertheless Japanese tuning's main contribution to V12s, and one hell of a bonkers car!

Here's another video of it revving up a bit. Like the Pagani Huayra, the twin blowers seem to have muted it a little...

So there. V12s are great. Long may they continue to survive against the urge from some car companies to replace them with smaller, turbocharged V8s or V10s. Happily, the long-serving masters of V12s, Ferrari and Lamborghini, are standing firm and saying that turbochargers and smaller engines in their flagship models will have to wait until at least next decade. Hurrah!

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Bugatti Makes Veyron LE, World Carries On As Normal

2012 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse Bernar Venet Edition

Just a quick post to say that Bugatti have just unveiled what is by my calculations the twenty-fifth limited-edition Veyron. Based on the Grand Sport Vitesse - the 1200PS convertible version - the Bernar Venet Edition features special paint (shocking!) by eponymous French artist Bernar Venet, featuring black, orange and some mathematical symbols, presumably because this car generates volcanic heat - nine radiators will do that - and is full of science and maths. OK, so the colour scheme is actually, no, wait, that's actually what it's about. The numbers thing, that is, not the heat, although his normal artwork, which this references, is normally made of bits of bronze welded together. It will cost more money than you will ever have and disappear from view as soon as it's sold, only to be brought up again when reeling off a list of all the Veyron Special paint jobs Editions there have been...

You can read the artist saying boring stuff (and see more pictures) by clicking here.

One of these is actually the equation to calculate the speed that the window rolls down. Not really.

"I just like to watch you work, father." Artificial Intelligence probably won't prove to have been a good idea...

For all the other Veyron LEs, just check the Wikipedia page. They're all there except this one.

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Formula One 2012 - We Have A Winner

Anyone else get the feeling Schumi farted just before this was taken?

So, that was a pretty epic end to a pretty epic season finale, wasn't it? The man to beat gets tangled up with a local to make it look like the underdog would seize the title, only to come back through the grid, overcoming difficult conditions as changeable weather saw panic pit-stops and slithering sideways (as well as very nearly seeing a highly unlikely winner to the race) to get into sixth place, enough to clinch the World Driver's Championship by just three points. A more apt number of points to win by this season, there isn't. Sebastian Vettel is the youngest ever Triple World Champion, as well as only the third in history to win three in a row. This in a season when Red Bull also won the World Constructor's Championship for the third year in a row. I may have doubted how much of SebVet's success was down to him before, but after the Brazilian Grand Prix he had, and given the above stats, it's pretty hard to doubt him now. He joins a list of greats be becoming a triple world champ, one which includes Nelson Piquet, Jackie Stewart, Jack Brabham, Niki Lauda and, of course, Ayrton Senna, whose record for the youngest ever entrant to this elite club was snatched by the German Merman (a name I have made up because he's swimming in victory champagne).

Alas, said record could've been snatched from Senna by Fernando Alonso (possibly, I may not have worked their ages out right). So often on TopGear, the car which is the best loses a head-to-head, because the other car steals the heart or mind of the tester - see MP4-12C vs 458 Italia - and indeed while Vettel bested him this season, Alonso is my driver of the year. He's been painted as a bad guy before after his whiny season at McLaren in 2007, but this year many have been able to forget all that, and just watch him take a substandard car and put it on the podium time after time, being the first repeat winner at Valencia after an astonishing run of different victors in the first seven GPs and then becoming the first man to win a third, at Hockenheim, around which he was faster than Felipe as well as everyone else. He outperformed the car so often in the first half of the season, helping Scuderia Ferrari develop the car to catch up until it could just about hold its own against the now-mighty Red Bull RB8 - which found some form of its own - in the closing stages. Alas, with Sebastian winning four races in a row in Asia and Fernando being wiped out in Spa and punted off in Japan, the tables turned. Without those forced retirements it could've been a fairytale year for Ferrari and Fernando, but unfortunately for the relentless warrior from Asturias, it's somebody else's fairytale at the moment. Here's hoping he can get a car next year that can be qualified in the top 5 regularly, in which case his knack for lightning starts and reliability could see him take a third title of his own.

But while there are two championship fighters in the top picture, there are two leavers as well. Lewis Hamilton not only left the race after Nico Hülkenberg's brave and surprising campaign for victory saw him lose the rear end under braking for Turn 1 and tail-whip the Brit out of the race (report coming later), he is now leaving McLaren, who have sponsored or employed him for 14 years. You've probably heard all about that, and while his final race before moving out and into the world didn't end well, he did at least become the inaugural winner of the United States Grand Prix at the Circuit Of The Americas, at his penultimate race for the team. He will relish the challenge at Mercedes, bringing a slightly off-pace team to the fore alongside his BFF Nico Rosberg before supposedly being in the fastest car in 2014. We'll just have to see how that develops, as well as whether or not the 2013 Mercedes-AMG W04 gets a chromed paint finish or not...

Also leaving is Michael Schumacher, and, to use his words, "this time it may be forever." It's no secret that he doesn't have a drive next year, and he's almost definitely retiring for good this time. He flew a thank-you flag on Sunday while going from pits to grid, and managed a points finish in his final Formula 1 Grand Prix, which is a nice way to end what has been a disappointing comeback for the only ever septuple F1 World Champion. I followed him as I grew up - although not his whole career; his time in F1 is marginally longer than I've been alive! - initially because we had the same name, which is a big deal when you're little, but also because he was driving a Ferrari, which, again, is the coolest kind of car at the age I was then. I saw him win championship after championship in the 2000s and listened to people complain what a dirty driver he was. Having re-watched some of it on YouTube, I can't deny it, but at the same time you can't fluke being the most successful F1 driver of all time. He also brought a new dimension to the sport that Sebastian Vettel is now using to great effect, one of multitasking in the car. While out in front flirting with the idea of setting a lap record, Schumi would ask about the weather and consider strategy. What's more, he brought a new level of fitness and dedication to the sport that made drivers have to go faster for longer. Now we see drivers training by entering triathlons or doing 100km bicycle rides or some such like, and it's arguably because of him. He's a legend of motor racing, and he will be missed.

But do you know who else is leaving Formula 1? Apart from maybe Kamui Kobayashi, which will suck, it's the BBC F1 team's Jake Humphrey. Part of the team who made British Formula 1 broadcasts watchable again when The Beeb bought the rights from ITV, he has been the face of the sport for so many people over the last four seasons, but now he's off to host Premiership football on BT's on-demand channel service, or whatever it is exactly, in 2013. As a proud watcher of BBC F1 even after Sky swept in and forced them to show only highlights for half the races, I'd just like to say thank you and good luck! I'm also reading his new book, which is highly insightful. Who will replace him in 2013? Well, I don't think the BBC would dare let Eddie Jordan run the show, and DC is probably best in his current position rather than being the frontman, so maybe Lee McKenzie? Or someone new? Who knows, but whomever it is I hope it's someone who cares deeply for the sport and not some interchangeable TV tool they grabbed from a lineup. Michael Schumacher, perhaps? OK, probably not...

But that's for next year anyway, and the 2013 season promises to be very different from this year's, with a notably different driver lineup, some new faces and of course the aforementioned absentees, among others. But who's going where? Well, let's go team-by-team:

Red Bull (2/2 Seats Filled)
Both drivers are staying put. There have been many rumours of Vettel going to Ferrari in 2014, but frankly that would be silly when he's treated like Fernando Alonso is at his current team, a team that also possesses Adrian Newey and therefore makes the fastest cars. If Mark Webber wanted to leave the team, he'd have trouble finding another competitive team to go to, and he doesn't want to retire yet, so he's sticking it out for now.

Ferrari (2/2)
Despite much speculation over Ferrari Junior Academy driver Sergio Perez, the lineup at the Scuderia will be the same next year, with Felipe Massa's recent resurgence being enough to keep him employed as Ferrari's second fiddle. As he said after letting them break the seal on his gearbox in America, "they probably won't find another driver like me", which is a swipe at the role they've put him in, i.e. Rubens Barrichello Mk.2. I'd hate to be in that role, but then it does mean racing for Ferrari...

McLaren (2/2)
Well, you all know where Lewis Hamilton's going, and you probably also know that Sergio Perez is going to the British team to partner Jenson Button. Team boss Martin Whitmarsh admitted they were "taking a bit of a punt" by recruiting whom they feel to be "the most exciting young talent in the field" from Sauber, but think of it this way: He and Jenson are both tyre conservationists, so rather than have to design a car for two distinctly different driving styles like they have had to in the last three years, they can make something more harmonious and make the tyres last, which is proving to be an effective way to get into the podium. Just ask Perez, who got three this year in what's normally a fairly middling team. One to watch.

Lotus (1/2)
But what of the other Sauber driver, who's been booted from his seat by the Swiss team's third driver Esteban Gutierrez? Well, there's a chance that Kobayashi-San might be replacing Romain Grosjean at Lotus next year. They're currently weighing up whether they want a faster driver or a more reliable one (who can still overtake well, lest we forget), and Kamui has been raising money to fund his efforts to get a drive next year, a cunning plan as he's something of a fan favourite for being a bit off-the-wall in interviews and exciting on the track. On the other side of the garage, Kimi Räikkönen is staying put. They make good ice cream in Enstone, it seems, although there's word floating around in the press that Lotus are having trouble paying his salary. Probably no big deal really.

Mercedes-AMG (2/2)
You know what's happening here. Lewis Hamilton will partner his BFF from junior formulas, Nico Rosberg, as Michael Schumacher retires from the sport. Again. It'll be interesting to see if Lewis can drag an almost-competitive car up the grid like Fernando Alonso has this year with a lacklustre Ferrari.

Sauber (2/2)
Esteban Gutierrez, has ascended from Friday driver to full-time Formula 1 driver at the age of 21 (I'm so jealous!). He will be partnered by Nico Hülkenberg, who's made a bit of a sideways jump into a team whose performance can be unpredictable season-by-season. Sauber have had a cracker this year though, so who knows? He'll be hoping they can build on it and finish ahead of the Force Indias consistently, lest he be embarrassed and regretful next year.

Force India (Probably 1/2)
Speaking of For-- I mean, SAHARA Force India, who is going to fill the Hulk's seat? Paul Di Resta is most likely staying put (if Hamilton wasn't jumping ship he would've had a fair shot at going to Mercedes, who are to Force India what Ferrari is to Sauber), and at the moment the lead candidate for the other car is Adrian Sutil, who is now allowed to race again after being chucked out for shenanigans involving a bottle in a Chinese club. Other people who could go there? Well, Kobayashi could if he doesn't get the Lotus seat, I suppose, or Bruno Senna. Frankly this could be the most interesting empty seat left to follow...

Williams (2/2)
Bruno Senna's worst fears have been realised and he has made way for Friday driver Valtteri Bottas, while wayward-but-quick Pastor Maldonado is living to crash another day. Rubens Barrichello keeps acting like he might return to F1, but frankly he doesn't have the funding for it and he's probably too old now given the hotbed of young talent we have at the moment.

Toro Rosso (2/2)
Both drivers - Jean-Eric Vergne and Daniel Ricciardo, in case you've forgotten - have done well enough to stay put, unlike last year's pairing of Jaime Alguersuari (who now works for BBC Radio 5Live) and Sebastien Buemi, who can go down a waterslide really fast.

Caterham (1/2)
No-one has any idea what Heikki Kovalainen is doing for next year, but Marussia driver Charles Pic, possibly the only driver in F1 history whose whole name fits into the graphics, will be making what could also be considered a sideways jump from Banbury to Norfolk. Vitaly Petrov may well vanish off the face of the earth, or go back to Lotus, perhaps. Or Force India?

Marussia (1/2)
Timo Glock is staying put, while the other seat could be filled by GP2 driver and British Person, Max Chilton (brother of the BTCC, now WTCC driver Tom), who's been their Friday driver this year as well as racing in GP2. Aside from him, I have no idea who else is lined up to take that seat. Are you really bothered, though?

HRT (2/2 or 0/0)
Hispania Racing Team - and you thought HRT was short for Hormone Replacement Therapy - is up for sale at the moment and no-one cares, so the Spanish team might even cease to exist by the 2013 season. Not many people will care about that either, except Pedro de la Rosa and Narain Karthikeyan. Plus, y'know, everyone else who works there. This would mean 22 cars on the grid next year instead of 24.

UPDATE (2/12): Hispania Racing Team aren't on the 2013 entry list, meaning they have met their end after just three seasons. We could poke fun, but it means hundreds of jobs lost and dreams ended, which is sad regardless of the team's performance on-track...

So to sum up, we still need contracts for a seat in Force India, Caterham, Marussia and possibly Lotus if they decide against keeping Grosjean (in which case all the fast drivers being kicked out will try to race there, I suspect). As for tracks, New Jersey has been delayed until next year for a number of reasons, including not having enough money and probably being a bit Sandy at present. The French GP is unlikely to happen next year either, according to Alain Prost, so the Belgian GP at Spa is safe. The Nürburgring is in as sorry a financial state as HRT, so Hockenheim will host the German GP. So, basically, it's the same calendar as this year. Oh! Except that the European Grand Prix at Valencia has been taken off the calendar for being too boring because Spain as a whole is short on money at the moment and can't afford to host two Grands Prix. The NJ street race was meant to replace it, but... yeah. No.

Until pre-season testing in Jerez next February though, everyone gets a holiday. The mad, crazy, spectacular travelling circus of the Formula One World Championship has once again reached the end of its annual world tour, having given us highs and lows the likes of which we would never have expected, coming right down to the wire but ending up celebrating the same driver and team for the third year in a row. Sure, Vettel and Red Bull Racing walked away with a title each, but does that mean this season was boring? Hell no. An unprecedented seven different winners in the first seven races and a field with more World Champions in it than ever before saw to that. What will the changes for next year bring? We must wait until February to find out. I'm looking forward to it already.

As and when the final seats are decided, you can find out by whom on here.

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Porsche Puts A Roof On Its Prettiest-Ever Boxster, Makes Prettiest-Ever Cayman

2013 Porsche Cayman and Cayman S

It's no secret that to make a Cayman, you simply add a roof and 10 horsepower to the Boxster. However, the stiffer chassis that results, and perhaps a few other changes we don't see, have lead to the Cayman being considered as the benchmark sports car in its class/price range (which is also true of the Boxster anyway). But since the 2009 refresh of the Mk.1, or 987 Cayman, which added a Limited-Slip Differential, people have started to ask whether the Cayman S is actually a better deal than a 911 Carrera, something Porsche tried hard to avoid at the start, but seems to be OK with now, as the two cars appeal to different types. Those who want a 911 will still buy a 911, whereas people who aren't as picky will still spend plenty on the Cayman or Cayman S. Now we have a Mk.2 Cayman, and seeing as its Boxster sister has apparently come of age, this is going to be one exceptional mid-engined sports car. It also looks great, fixing the dodgy roof of the Mk.1 and getting a less smiley, more serious "face" than its topless twin.

Engines are the same as the new 981-generation Boxster, with a 2.7-litre or 3.4-litre flat-six on offer, but they make 10 more horsepower, at 275 and 325bhp respectively for the base model and the S. Because Porsche are cool, a 6-speed manual will be offered alongside the 7-speed "PDK" flappy-paddle 'box. Expect it to cost a bit more than the equivalent Boxster and get glowing reviews in every road test you read about it. Prices and other stuff will be added here when they publish it. UPDATE: Microsite here (with more colours!) and a press release here.

But I know what you're saying already. You're saying that it looks the same as the outgoing Cayman, and that Porsche's designers are lazy. There always has to be someone...

OK, because the Cayman is basically the Boxster with a roof and 10 more horsepower, let's compare Boxsters first. The 987 was designed around plain old 911 doors, like the original 986 from the '90s was. That means the sides are plain in general, because of Porsche's smooth, clean aesthetic (for its sports cars, at least). The key difference in the 981 is that the Boxster was granted its own doors, so with that freedom they deeply embedded the main air intakes, giving it the gradual dip into the car. They also made the characteristic rear arches a little more curved and pronounced in profile, while adding the double-decker headlights, à la 918 Spyder and updating the three front bumper grilles to fit with the new shape(s) better, giving clearly defined "cheek bones" in the process. Of course, my favourite touch is the rear LED lights, which have the pop-up spoiler arching down into them at the ends to make the reversers, which looks very smooth and very cool. The roll hoops are also chunkier and more shaped, possibly for aero reasons but I don't know if that's really why that is.

To make the Cayman, they added a fixed roof - which is now more 911-shaped in that it arches down more smoothly to meet the waistline at the spoiler, rather than having that dip in the middle of it where the rear window ended - and a reprofiled front bumper with less smiley/more aggressive Down-the-Road Graphics (DRG), or "face". As with the 987, the rectangular foglights have been replaced with a dot in the bumper grilles for the hardtop model.

So there. Just because it's evolutionary rather than revolutionary, doesn't mean they aren't trying. You just have to be paying attention for about two or three seconds. Here are some more pictures, because it looks great. The mostly-subtle changes really make a difference in my opinion.

The S version has a twin-pipe exhaust, whereas the standard Cayman features a single oval tailpipe, much like on the Boxster.

It would probably look better in a colour other than acid yellow though...

That's more like it.

The rear window no longer dips in at the bottom, making it smoother and, I think, prettier. Also, DAT SPOILER.

The question is, with only 20 fewer horses, about 50kg less weight and what Porsche's configurator reveals to be a £22,660 price gap, would you buy this over a 991 Carrera? Hmm......

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21 Years & 50,000 Hits - A Collection Of Thoughts

Pic unrelated.

Well, it's about time I wrote something here. Considering this blog has received 50,000 hits and it is/was my 21st birthday, I'm practically required to write something by unwritten laws, some of which I have set myself. I'm told the best writing is impulsive, so with a completely random picture chosen from my HDD, let's see what results of the next half hour or so. 2:14.

Well, first of all, there's the 50k views. Actually no, FIRST of all there's the fact that I've only gone and turned 21. I know, it was careless, I don't know what I was thinking, but it's happened now and I can't change it. My first birthday away from family is a weird one, although they did keep me feeling connected with them, so it was good as I could possibly hope for in that respect, plus I'm going home at the weekend to see them in person (and get more presents!), at which point I shall rejoin the Punto in the dance between man and machine that only a car or motorbike can provide. A motorbike is a closer, more physical dance, like Salsa, and such raunchy dancing isn't really my thing, as exciting as I'm sure it is, so it'll always be cars first for me. So that'll be fun. I'll have to choose my roads properly this time to get the most out of it, as well as see how Wokingham has evolved in the last month.

Click to embiggen.

Second of all, thanks for clicking. Whether you got here because you're on Jalopnik/Oppo+ or because you Googled your way here, hits are hits, and it's something I've been keeping track of out of habit. In fact - can I admit this? - every 1000 hits, I screen-cap the Total Page Views and save it. Yup. How thrilling is that? There's still stuff I've been meaning to do, some of which is now a little out of date, but I'm sure I can write around that. For example, barrel sprinting a Toyota GT86. How I've not pasted that across my blog and linked to it seven times, I don't know. I guess moving out interfered.  Not uploading a 2012 Goodwood FOS Mega-Gallery from July, however, is somewhat inexcusable. Regular readers - all 2 or 3 of you - may also have noticed that lack of Formula 1 posts of late. That's not because I've stopped bothering or stopped paying attention to the season. They'll be back after the season finale this weekend, with both a recap/summary and, for most of them, a lap-by-lap account to support it. Consider those posts as something to do when you get withdrawal symptoms over the winter period.

Speaking of F1, what a fucking season! It's been unbelievable, hasn't it? 7 winners in 7 races at the start while people scrambled for a solution to the blown diffuser ban and an understanding of the updated Pirelli tyres, the latter of which they do not stop going on about, and then Red Bull kicked their car until it worked as well as last year's, leading to four victories in a row for Sebastian Vettel (all at Asian GPs, as it happens). After leaving Asia for hotter places, Kimi Räikkönen finally won a Grand Prix after returning to the sport. That said, he might have been a little pissed off that the one race he won in his comeback year was in one of the two out of nineteen countries used that don't drink alcohol, which he expressed by swearing at David Coulthard on live TV. Lewis Hamilton suffered two excruciating failures in Singapore and Abu Dhabi Doo that saw him retire from a clear lead. One could thus argue that he should have 50 more points than he does, and be in the hunt for a championship, but then the same argument could also be levelled at Vettel in 2010, and of course the German merman (so-called because he's basically swimming in podium champagne by this point) has suffered the same fate this year too, at the European GP in Valencia which is mercifully being removed from the calendar next year due to Spain not having enough money for two races anymore.

But I digress. Lewis Hamilton, who is of course leaving McLaren for Mercedes next year. Why leave a team he's been with for 14 years in some form or other? Well, you don't marry your first girlfriend, or grow old in your parents' house. Not if you're normal. What's more, Mercedes-AMG have been touted as being the fast ones in 2014 when the rules get shaken up and we get V6 Turbo engines, KERS 'n' TERS (like surf 'n' turf for "flybrid" technology), simpler aerodynamics with enforced low noses and no doubt something else thrown in to slow Red Bull down. We saw a change in aero rules mix the field up in 2009, with Brawn GP rising from the ashes of Honda Racing and dominating up until a Newey-lead Red Bull hit their stride. Lewis and global mainstream brand Mercedes-Benz will be hoping for the same thing two years from now. Until then, wait, I've digressed again...

Coming back to 2012, Hamilton's luck finally turned around as he hoped to do something special with McLaren in the closing stages of their relationship. That thing was winning the first United States Grand Prix since the 2007 race at Indianapolis - a race he also won - and the first ever GP at the much-publicised Circuit Of The Americas, making him the first person since his idol Ayrton Senna to win the US GP in two different locations (Senna's being street circuits at Detroit and Phoenix). The track itself is a sort of Greatest Hits of Grand Prix Circuits, featuring the classics and some of their newer stuff. The first turn of all was a brand new one though, with a 40-metre ascent up to a tight hairpin, and then a rollercoaster-style drop and twist into the esses section reminiscent of Maggots and Becketts and Church at Silverstone, or perhaps the esses of Suzuka. The multi-radius lefts and rights then straighten out into pointier corners and some long straights, like modern "Tilke tracks", before going into a smaller, wider version of the stadium complex of Hockenheimring (which just looks fiddly) and winding through a mirrored and slightly diluted US spinoff of the many-apex'd Turn 8 at Istanbul Park Circuit, taking the drivers into Turn 19, which drops downhill just as you want to get the power down. This lead to many spins and slides wide, to the point where there was just as much rubber on the run-off area as the main track! Turn 20 rounds it all off basically just by joining it all up at the end, like the last turn of an improvised Scalextric track. Thank goodness they had the right piece left over for it...

Not my image. Don't hit me

So yes, well done Americans. You can be proud of that circuit. Not that you wouldn't be anyway. In fact, you seem to be pretty damn proud of everything you've ever done sometimes. This comes back to cars. At the moment there's plenty of hubbub about the upcoming C7 Corvette, as well as the new Cadillac ATS and Dodge SRT Viper SRT-10. Now, I have no reason to deny that Caddy and Dodge have done a great job with these two, and that they mark a big and important step forward for American cars and stuff, but the hype and pride gets annoying. By all means be proud, I don't mean they shouldn't give a fuck, but hype from US journos (at least the ones at Jalopnik) and the subsequent assumptions from readers that they're suddenly the best cars of their entire genre is too much, and people pushing Corvettes and Mustangs on you when you might like European or Japanese equivalents, while throwing around price tags and Nürburgring lap times and "FUCK YEAH" and "SUCK IT" in an overly competitive way is just a turn-off, in the same way that being forced to learn the violin makes you hate the instrument with an unbridled passion. They're even doing it with the Ford Focus ST, whose only truly American component as far as I'm aware is the badge. You can't force something on people if you want them to a) like it, or b) take it seriously themselves. If I say that I want an American saloon or sports car over a European one now, it'll feel like they've "won" somehow, as silly as that may sound. Also, whether it's as quick or not, a Mustang is not an M3, and the minute it becomes one is the minute it stops being the proper Muscle Car it's supposed to be - the M3 is serious, whereas a Mustang or Monaro or Camaro or Challenger should be more fun and crazy. Save the sports car stuff for the 'Vette, because that's what it's meant to be.

The reason I like muscle cars (when no-one's looking) is because they're like cartoon characters in real life. That's their appeal. Make them drive, look and feel like sports cars and they'll have lost that appeal. It just turns from cartoon to yet another live action flick, perhaps with more colours. Mercedes-Benz's AMG department know what's up. They make the C63, which is a normal car with a HUGE V8 that loves going sideways and sounding like a NASCAR car in a thunderstorm (although not quite as well as the SLS does that). That's a muscle car, despite being German, and the Coupé Black Series enhances that further with MORE POWER and more angry bits on it. Ford should rival AMG with the next Mustang, not M. Oh, and if I get an angry rebuttal from someone saying that the same thing happens here, then that's not me, and I don't like over-hyping regardless of nationality.

But anyway, angry blogger mode can wait until I need to vent about something and pick on something like stanced cars for making no sense to me whatsoever.

Ok, that took more than half an hour.

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