How To Fix The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

A is the original layout and B is my version. You can tell because they're labelled in Altastrada font, which is superior to your font.

Although double DRS and a lack of Vettel helped to spice up this year's Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, it wasn't exactly Canada or Silverstone. Much of the problem with this race is in the track layout, as Hermann Tilke was probably far more interested in a) grandstands and facilities, and b) getting paid lots by sheiks, thus the track doesn't really lend itself to overtaking. Does someone without a background in circuit design or any proper real-life motor racing experience honestly believe they can do better at designing a Formula 1 racing circuit than a paid professional?

Well duh. Haven't you been on the internet before?

Using a mix of Google Earth and GIMP, I have shown two points that I really do think would make a difference. I would've done the same to Turn 8, but it's too complicated with a short route coming off T9 immediately afterwards, so I made do with a line map in Microsoft Paint. Anyway, here are some of the things I'd change:

Turn 6

This annoys me so much it's not even funny, partly because it's such an easy fix to make and yet they don't bother. Drivers brake to turn into Turn 5 looking down a perfectly nice piece of straight, only to turn left instead. Turns 5 and 6 do a great job of putting the grid more-or-less in single file for the T7 hairpin that opens up onto the very long straight (a staple of any Tilke track), and because there's only really one line through this complex, aside from drivers deciding when they want to clip the inside kerb, there is normally no overtaking. How much better would it be if they could completely ignore T5 and 6? If they just went straight into what would thus become Turn 5, there would be a lot more options for the likes of Hamilton and Alonso, many more lines to choose, and if they were to move the apex inwards a bit like I have here, more room to squeeze down the inside. Also, the much higher entry speed would mean a much longer braking zone, and that's when drivers tend to make bold moves down the inside. It would be a much better corner, and people who stumbled over from the horrid Ferrari World behind that fancy grandstand would have something to watch when they'd finished vomiting and got inside. You could go further and adjust the inside kerb to have a "late apex" instead of an even radius throughout, giving drivers even more room like in India and suppourting the line they like to go for in that corner to get the throttle open earlier, but I don't know if the Arab owners would dig such imperfection... or character.

Turn 8

To be honest, I'm not sure what to do with this corner. As you can see, there's not much room for change with that barrier there, which has a grandstand behind it. The same thing makes changing Turn 1 tricky as well, but that corner will never provide an exciting start to the race as it is, unless they keep the tyre spikes on the edge of the kerb for anyone as unfortunate as Sebastian Vettel was this year, but I digress. I think this might need changing because it proved tricky to get past unless you managed to fully utilise DRS and get up the inside anyway under braking (with that nice long braking zone like we just gave "Turn 5"). As the top picture shows, what I did do was make the straight to T9 shorter (if the above changes were applied, of course these would become Turns 6 and 7, but let's not make this confusing for the time being), as well as straighten the run through T10 down to T11 at the bottom, which I am about to mention. Anyway, this could make it less fiddly to overtake someone, because you don't so much have to double back on yourself, and you can accelerate away instead of slowing back down to take another corner immediately afterwards. That may or may not work or be accurate, but it would certainly help to widen the entry à la India (which would've worked better at this year's race if the track as a whole hadn't been so flippin' dirty). Turn 9 would subsequently be smoothed out a bit, as shown by my mad MS Paint skills, which I don't mind because it doesn't really add anything anyway. It would just be faster. I also widened the entry to the final corner, and moved the apex ever so slightly across. Hamilton overtaking Massa at the very last corner of the British GP was awesome, so maybe it could happen here with more opportunity. Who knows?

Turn 11

The problem here is similar to that of T7, except the unnecessary corner comes afterwards instead of beforehand. Cutting Turn 12 (or T10 if you applied the above changes) out of the equation would make overtaking much more straightforward, I reckon, and when combined with the faster run out of T9, could even mean we could get rid of the second DRS Zone that so frequently undid the moves made in the first DRS Zone at T8, and maybe put it on the pit straight. If you get overtaken at the first of these corners, line up behind the attacker and get him in the next one (I didn't stitch the corners together very well, but the red lines show a more refined line of the entry for the corner). The first turn in the picture is exactly the same, but the unnecessary chicane, which doesn't add anything to the track, has been removed. Is this change necessary when this year's GP saw Jenson Button and Mark Webber swapping around through the left-right-left-left, as well as Kamui Kabayashi overtaking two cars in one go at T13? Well, those were impressive bits of racing, but this layout, in my mind, would make overtaking more frequent without having to force it by way of DRS. Each corner is the same radius in both images, the picture orientation is just a little different, something I've only just noticed...

Would these changes work? We'd have to apply them and see. I like to think they would, of course, particularly the first one. The hotel section near the end of the lap could also use some spicing up, but there's even less room for improvement there than Turn 8, in terms of run-off area (or area that could be used for track laying), so I'll leave that puzzle for another day. If you have any thoughts and ideas, feel free to add them in the comment box below!

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Two Ways To Make A Porsche

There is a right way and a wrong way to build a Porsche. Or is there? Maybe, with the Panamera and Cayenne selling just as well or better than the 911 and Boxster/Cayman, there are two ways to make a Porsche, or maybe it's proof that people will buy anything with a Porsche badge on it... except a new-age Need For Speed game, perhaps. They all suck and so does EA for claiming exclusivity on using Porsches...

Anyway, what we have here are two new cars based on existing Porsches. One is an official model, called the Panamera GTS. The other is a heavily modified version of a '73 911, called the dp Motorsports "dp11 RS 2011". Catchy. But which one is best?

Let's start with the official one. The Panamera GTS is a slightly fettled version of Porsche's first executive car designed to have a sporting edge. Based on the Panamera 4S (that's the 4-wheel-drive one with a non-turbo V8), the GTS has an extra 30bhp and 15 lb/ft of torque persuaded out of the naturally-aspirated 4.8-litre V8 (mostly to distance it from the S, I suspect), making 430bhp and 384lb/ft in total, and as a result it can do 0-60 in 4.3 seconds before topping out at a strangely precise 179mph. To remind yourself that you paid extra to get extra, it has a new 'Sound Symposer', developed for the new 911, which transmits intake noise through the A-pillar using an acoustic diaphragm between the throttle body and air filter, which amplifies the vibrations. Apparently it's like a drum head, and it essentially means that you get more noise when you accelerate, which is nice. You can turn it off if you're boring.

It also has Porsche's suspension upgrades such as Porsche Adaptive Suspension Management (PASM) as standard, and the Porsche Doppelkupplungsgetriebe (PDK), which translates from German to Porsche Double-Clutch Transmission, also as standard. The adaptive air suspension is 10mm lower by default than the average Panameras, but as usual the ride height is adjustable, and the dampers are set to a harder setting to make it sportier. These upgrades are teamed with 20" RS Spyder wheels, and Sport Chrono Plus, which includes a stopwatch, performance information on the central screen when you want it, and sharper responses from every element of the drivetrain. The GTS also gets some bits from the higher Turbo, including the front bodywork, rear wheel spacers and larger brake discs, and adaptive pop-up rear spoiler. Inside, the GTS gets lots of sporty Alcantara, a choice of five interior colours and 18-way adjustable sport seats.

So the Porsche Panamera GTS is the same affair as many a German posh version. They've made the suspension firmer, ticked some options boxes for you and added one or two special features to make it seem unique, or at least like it's worth £7129 more than a Panamera 4S. It sits between said 4S and the fully-fledged Panamera Turbo, both in terms of spec and price. Doesn't it all seem a bit artificial though? Like they've done it to milk the proverbial cash cow and/or get early buyers to replace their old-hat Panameras for new ones, perhaps. Everything it has already existed, they just threw it all on a special edition. Of course, special editions like this happen at Toyota and Vauxhall, let alone Porsche and Audi, but all the same it's not how I would spice up a Porsche...

This, on the other hand, is more like it. Obviously the dp Motorsports RS 2011 can't eat up the miles with the same effortlessness as a Panamera, but it is truer to Porsche's heritage than the, er, Porsche...

Based on a 1973 Porsche 911 (the same year as the famous Carrera RS 2.7 but not actually using one of the highly sought-after hardcore editions), the dp RS 2011 features an updated and uprated version of the original flat-6 engine, beefed up and bored out to turn 2.7 litres to 3.6, with "50-mm PMO carburetor with open air filters", a wideboy bodykit including an RSR-style front bumper and their own take on the good old "Whale Tail" spoiler and a rollcage. Right off the bat then, this is a very different kind of Porsche. The engine produces 310PS, or 306bhp, which is a significant 124bhp less than the factory Panamera above. That said, I guarantee you this is faster around any given corner or track. While the Panamera GTS weighs 1920kg, the dp RS 2011 weighs 870kg. That's less than half as much weight for that power to carry around. The power-to-weight ratio for the dp is 352bhp/tonne, whereas the GTS's is 224bhp/tonne. That's the difference between a BMW 1 M Coupé and a Ferrari 599 GTB.

The reason this car weighs a good 210kg less than a normal '73 911 is because virtually everything is made of carbon fibre. The minimal dashboard, air-con cover, underfloor, every single body panel, the roof, maybe even the "lightweight light fixings", it's all carbon fibre. It also has plexiglass windows, quick-release pins instead of anything so wasteful and cumbersome as a handle for the bonnet and engine cover, wafer-thin bucket seats (you know what they're made of by now) and no interior sound-proofing whatsoever. Back seats? Don't be silly, that's where the rollcage goes. Well most of it, anyway. Finally, the dp RS 2011 has a bigger, 70-litre fuel tank, a 25-amp gel battery starter, a smaller washer fluid tank, a "light electric interior airing system", enhanced oil cooling and a brake cooling housing made of, yup, carbon fibre. Like the Panamera, the interior also featured alcantara trim. You won't find any leather in here, though...

So there they are, two enhanced Porsches. One is a 4-door land-based business jet, an All-Wheel-Drive comfort zone with a DCT and a cynically-conceived special edition. The other is an old-school-meets-new-tech retro racing car with number plates, packing the performance of a V12 Ferrari. Which one floats your boat? Electric privacy windows or plastic sliders set in fixed plexiglass? The engine breathing falsely through the A-pillars or barking unavoidably through every crevice of the car? Of course, in an ideal world, you would have both, one for 9-5 and one for beating 959s at Silverstone, but what if you could only buy one of them?

Hmmmmmm............... I'll take the dp 911.

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Formula 1 - Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2011

Yas Marina Circuit. Grotesque Ferrari World theme park adjacent...

The Race In a Nutshell:
> Sebastian Vettel's luck finally runs out as he gets a right-rear puncture into Turn 2.
> 2nd place-starting Lewis Hamilton leads by 2.5s after lap 1.
> Jenson Button slips back from 3rd to... 3rd. KERS fails for a while, partially reset later on, battles Mark Webber
> McLaren make lightning-fast pit stops, Red Bull botch Webber's, he falls out of contention for 3rd.
> Webber battles Felipe Massa, causing the pair to fall behind Button.
> Sébastien Buemi and Paul Di Resta battle, Di Resta runs wide at T11 and falls behind Buemi, who later retired.
> Kamui Kobayashi overtakes a lot, finishes 10th to move Sauber ahead of Toro Rosso.
> Pastor Maldonado and Bruno Senna penalised for ignoring blue flags, Maldonado does it again later.
> Hamilton wins on his mum's birthday.

Top 5 Finishers: Hamilton, Alonso, Button, Webber, Massa

Since this track appared at the end of 2009, it has played host to some boring races. The only thing that spiced it up last year was the fact that the championship was in the balance, and even then it was disappointing, because Fernando Alonso was stuck behind Vitaly Petrov and Mark Webber couldn't get the job done, so Vettel won from pole and snatched the championship, leading to some complaining rightly that it didn't allow overtaking. If they had DRS last year at this race, Alonso would've been champion. This year, the pressure was off, everyone had time to vomit on the world's fastest roller coaster at the hideous Ferrari World theme park behind Turn 7, and it looked to be a 55-lap parade after he siezed pole position for the 14th time this season...

Surprise Start: Alas, it wasn't. After Sebastian Vettel got through turn 1 untouched by Lewis Hamilton in 2nd place, he was seen gliding sideways out of Turn 2 and onto the grass with a right-rear puncture. How? Had he hit it on the kerb gutter at the first corner? Was there some Arab bling on the track? Who knows, but it took him out of contention and blew the race wide open, with Hamilton - who actually set a faster lap time than Vettel, just in the wrong qualifying session - inheriting the lead. While everyone was watching the Mercedes GP cars getting up close and personal, Fernando Alonso was busy going around the outside of Mark Webber through Turn 1. Alonso continued his charge by catching and overtaking Jenson Button to take second place at Turn 8, while Nico Rosberg was able to get back ahead of his Mercedes team mate Michael Schumacher at the same corner, with the two of them still neck-andneck at Turn 11, while behind them there was dicing for position all down the field, apart from in 24th place, where Vettel was trying to get back to the pits with what quickly became 3 tyres.

Vettel Out: Apparently the double world champion was a little too eager to get back to the pits, as the tyre had completely ripped up and was now being flung up in the air by the rear wheel and subsequently whipping down onto the floor of the car, causing significant damage. When he finally got back into the pits, the tyre had bent the wheel bearing, broken the rear brake cooling and broken off a suspension wishbone, so he was unable to continue. It was his first retirement in over 12 months. David Coulthard suspected that he put the inner sidewall on the outer edge of the kerb at T1, and the lower tyre pressure and heavier car were perhaps enough to deflate it, but no-one seems entirely sure what happened that punctured the tyre.

Double-DRS: Meanwhile, Lewis Hamilton had gained a 2.7-second lead, perhaps filling in for Vettel while he was gone, and Sergio Pérez had pitted in from 10th place to get a new front nose. On lap 4, Mark Webber fancied a go at Jenson Button, who was unable to keep up and re-pass a determined Alonso, but because of the "Double DRS Zone", where one is immediately followed by another, after Webber passed him in Turn 8, Button re-passed him into Turn 11. This is something that would happen quite a lot in the race, particularly between Paul Di Resta and Sébastien Buemi for a few laps later on in the race, although Di Resta running wide into T11 on lap 14 allowed Beumi past once and for all. On lap 11 the Saubers - both of whom were right near the back after Kamui Kobayashi had somehow dropped back and Pérez pitted for that nose, decided not to wait for teh HRT cars to stop battling eachother, with Pérez going down the middle of them both towards Turn 11, and then after Vitantonio Liuzzi and Dnaiel Ricciardo touched in T12, Kobayashi was able to get down the inside of both of them at the same time at T14.

Button v Webber, 1st Stops: By lap 15, Jenson Button had spent a couple of laps defending from Mark Webber (who had a great chance to get his first win of the season now that Vettel was out of the running) despite his McLaren having a KERS failure. He was able to stay ahead out of T8, but at T11 Webber was charging towards him. The Australian then braked too early to get down the inside, but Jenson locked a wheel up and slid wide, allowing the two cars to be neck-and-neck, but Button knew the next two corners were left-handers, so he dropped back from the right side of Webber at T12 and straightened the exit of T13, cutting back under him to get up the inside at T14 and get back ahead of Webber. Behind them, an ever-closing Felipe Massa then pitted in for new Option tyres. Next lap, Lewis Hamilton pitted in from the lead, followed by Alonso, who was just 1.9 seconds behind as they both darted into the pits. McLaren put new Options tyres on Hamilton 0.4 seconds faster than Ferrari could manage for Alonso, so the top two didn't change places. Webber and Button's battling had effectively consigned them to racing for 3rd and 4th positions, so Button came in on the same lap as Hamilton for more Option tyres. Mark Webber stayed out until lap 18 before putting new Options on, playing a different strategy that wouldn't prove effective, partly because a slow pit stop of 9.4 seconds, thanks to a stuck rear wheel, after which he had to wait for Nico Rosberg before exiting his pit box. In his frustration he ran very wide out of Turn 3.

By lap 18 or so, the race had settled down, even though Jenson Button, Felipe Massa and Mark Webber were almost withint a second of eachother. On lap 29, Webber was within DRS range of Massa, but as the Red Bull RB7 is designed and set-up more for corners than straights, it didn't really amount to anything. Meanwhile, Pastor Maldonado was seen by the stewards as not obeying the blue flags that tell slower cars to let the leaders lap them, and was given a drive-through penalty. Lewis Hamilton had by this point accumulated a 4.6-second lead. Next lap, Massa slid around at Turn 7, allowing Webber to get alongside him and pass into T8 using DRS, but the Aussie out-braked himself a little and slid wide, but gave Massa no ground. Unfortunately for him, Massa had DRS in the next corner and exploites Webber's apparent struggle with that particular braking zone and retook 4th place. The lap after that, Jenson Button's KERS returned and he subsequently set a personal best lap time. He said after the race that it kept coming and going every two laps or so.

On lap 36, Mark Webber pitted again, but for another set of Option tyres, meaning that with less than 20 laps to go, he still had to make the mandatory change to the slower Prime tyres. Button, meanwhile, switched onto Primes, meaning he could go to the end of the race. On lap 37, Bruno Senna was penalised for ignoring blue flags like Maldonado. Lewis Hamilton stayed out until lap 40 before having another lightning-fast pit stop, changing onto Prime tyres and temporarily losing the lead to Alonso. Rubens Barrichello, the most experienced man in F1 and having a lowly weekend, decided to pull a sneaky move on Lewis Hamilton at T8, which Lewis didn't appreciate. Further back, Webber had closed back up to Button again. On lap 42, he muscled his way past the McLaren at T8, but of course Button had DRS going into T11, except this time, with Webber on fresh options, Button decided not to fight a losing battle, knowing the remaining Red Bull driver would have to pit again. Alonso pitted on lap 44, but right behind an HRT. Could Ferrari make the stop faster than Hispania Racing Team? They could, even with a 5.2-second stop (compared to Hamilton's 3.6 seconds), but Hamilton regianed the lead.

Mark Webber still had to pit for Primes, and there was a risk of him dropping behind not just Button but Felipe Massa as well, that is until the Ferrari number two dropped the back end into turn 1 on lap 50 of 55, sliding to a halt on the outside and rejoining, but losing about 5 or 10 seconds in the process, and when you lose time in motorsport, you can never get it back. On lap 52, HRT rookie Daniel Ricciardo was spotted at the side of the road with a pourly car, not quite making it to the end of the race. Rather than recover the stricken HRT car, the stewards just yellow-flagged that section of track (between turns 15 and 16) until the end of the race. Maybe they were all too busy buying countries or finding a Sunday wife to go with their others for each day of the week...

And so Lewis Hamilton picked up a win, his third of the season (the others being China and Germany), 8.4 seconds ahead of a Fernando Alonso that was determined to the very end, as ever, and arguably out-performed his car. After finally pitting in for Prime tyres on lap 54, Mark Webber conceded third place to a tash-tacular Jenson Button after an eventful race, and Felipe Massa was well behind in 5th. Not quite the result that was predicted by most, but of course, no-one anticipates first-lap punctures with no apparent provocation. This result means that Jenson Button has secured second place in the World Drivers' Championship, and is officially the only McLaren driver to beat Lewis Hamilton in the championship thus far. Considering one of Hamilton's former team mates is Fernando Alonso, that's quite something despite only being the third team mate to Lewis. After a weekend off, it's the 19th and final race of the 2011 Formula 1 season at Sao Paolo in Brazil, home circuit to Felipe Massa, Rubens Barrichello, and Bruno Senna. Last year, Williams rookie Nico Hülkenberg somehow managed to qualify in pole position for this race. Can you imagine if Bruno Senna did it this year? The crowd would drown out 24 screaming 2.4-litre V8s effortlessly. We'll see...

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The New Chevrolet Corvette (Apparently)

It looks 'shawped. I can tell from teh pixels and from seeing quite a few shawps in mah tahm.

38 minutes after they said they would, Jalopnik have released what they say are images showing exactly what the next Chevrolet Corvette will look like. For some reason they based it on an assumed ZR1 version, so I had a go at toning it down to show you what the normal C7 Corvette may very well look like. I'm having mixed feelings towards it even after de-ricing it. Here's what else The Internet may know about it....

So we have a rough idea of its appearance, but what else do we know? Well, it will be the second production car (after the Porsche 991) to have a 7-speed manual gearbox, because Americans can like totally do anything Yurpeens can. In fact, the new car is apparently designed to "look more European". Why? As the premier American sports car (read: only American sports car), it should look distinctively American. What they appear to mean by looking 'more European' is that they've added rear quarter windows for the first time - taken straight from an Aston Martin Vanquish - and headlights from the AMG SLS or the (Japanese) Nissan GT-R. These details and Camaro-esque tail lights have mixed in with the now-familiar Corvette shape; a low, pointy nose, long bonnet, sloping roof and very square tail, all of which now has more creases in it than a hobo's trousers.

Anyway, it is of course going to be powered by a V8. At one point it was going to be a small-capacity V8 that revved very high, but they seem to have decided against being too revolutionary (and haven't made it mid-engined either), as they've stuck with a 6.2-litre engine, now with direct injection, which will of course be more powerful and more efficient than the LS3 in the C6 'Vette, whose platform this will share when it arrives in 2013. The 7-Speed transmission will mean shorter gear ratios than before, which is a good thing, as the Corvette had very long gears, partly for fuel economy. This way, it can still do that, but the acceleration will improve. Or, the acceleration will be the same and it will have one more gear for cruizin'. If I remember correctly, the C6 Corvette in at least one guise didn't need 6th gear to reach its top speed. With shorter gears it might stay in the main power band more, and might grab a few more miles per hour in 6th, while still having 7th for doing 80mph at 2000rpm or something.

To your right is the original version of the image I played around with. The people at Jalopnik (who are making a big fuss about this, by the way) decided to go straight for the ZR1 they supposedly saw in person and rendered that instead, and so it looks very busy. To try and see the standard car - and to play around with GIMP 2.0 that I recently downloaded - I decided to tone it down a bit. The ZR1 version will apparently have a big front splitter, a lip spoiler on the back and many, many vents, perhaps to help cool some supercharged 700-horsepower beast under the bulging bonnet (although what on earth's the vent above the rear wheel supposed to do???). The heat vent in front of the doors, I've decided, will be bigger for the ZR1, to show it has more engine under there. It will also have a large rear diffuser and four big round exhaust pipes in the middle, much like the C6 ZR1 everyone in America's very proud of. I haven't played with the rear-left view shot of it yet, because I'd only do the same things to it and then set about making the diffuser smaller. Despite rumours, there won't be a C2 Corvette Stingray-style split rear window.

Is any of this accurate? Annoyingly - or perhaps helpfully for Jalopnik - we won't be able to find out until 2013, at which point we'll all have forgotten about these images, Porsche will have released about 5 new versions of the 911 (991), and I will be about 21. Scary. General Motors say that the new Corvette will be "world-class", and compete with the likes of Ferrari or Lamborghini. Them's fightin' words! Maybe I still fail to take American sports cars seriously, and maybe nowadays that's a failing on my part, but I just don't see it. Current Corvettes are all driven by old people in Florida, save for some drag racing enthusiasts and those living near Laguna Seca who have Z06s and ZR1s, and a shonky plastic car cannot compete with the Porsche 911, even if they have now Googled "The Nurburgring" on their iPhones and discovered what corners are. One stand-out criticism of the C6 'Vette is the interior, which is as hideous and plastic as Europeans have come to expect of them, and perhaps the money GM saved on not developing a new platform for this car has gone into materials and fit 'n' finish instead.

To be honest though, I'm being cruel here. The C7 Corvette will probably be a vast improvement over the C6. It may even handle well and be compared to something European in UK magazines without losing. I just can't shake off something about American cars though. I guess it's a prejudice, of sorts. Even when the Dodge Viper ACR-X snatched the Nordschleife lap record for production cars, it was just like "oh, that's nice for them", or maybe even "big deal". It's not helped by Americans on the internet trying to force their cars down our throats in an overly proud and defensive manner, like they're all pissed off about prejudiced people like me saying their cars are worse. Let the cars do the talking, please. Stop yelling and swearing and saying I'm an idiot for preferring a Nissan GT-R or a Porsche 911. You don't see me saying you're a burger-mauling imbecile for not preferring a Jaguar XKR, do you?

Anyway, I digress. This is the new Corvette, if Jalopnik's apparently petty head writer is to be believed. Enjoy the pictures. I will post more technical information when I find it.

That front bumper has a hint of Ferrari 458 in it from this angle.

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Video Sunday - Every Second Counts

Uploaded: 16/11/10

Running Time: 5:22

Views When Posted: 243,648

If you don't really get the attraction of motorsport, if you think it's just tubes with spoilers going round in circles and turbocharged Subarus driving past anoraks wearing anoraks in a wood, watch this video. I'm sorry it has orchestral music - you may find it atmospheric, you may find it intruding or cheesy, but I didn't put it there, so I can't help it - but the choice of clips and the quotes from legends and masters of the sport, living and dead, make this an incredibe and moving video. Enjoy. That is all.

Also, as you may have noticed, the background is now carbon fibre, an idea I pinched off a friend's Tumblr blog. This page is now lighter and stronger than before! The smallblock V8 that validates the pun is now in the title image.

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Video Saturday - Celebrating In Style

Uploaded: 5/11/11

Running Time: 5:40

Views When Posted: 72,321

You know you're living your life right when you can turn up at Monza and get to sit alongside Valentino Balboni, long-serving former chief test driver at Lamborghini and all-round cool guy. You also know you've made it on the internet when such a man says your username on camera and lets you film him hounding round the Italian Grand Prix circuit in a Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4 Superleggera. Marchettino has made it, and is living it right. I don't know if he actually makes money from filming supercars around Italy - although he has enough for a shiny red Abarth 500 and a fancy camera - but he should. That would be the perfect job. Here he is commemorating his 900th video in true style.

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Supercar Weekday - Toyota 2000GT

Written for Jalopnik's gift to Jezebel each night

Think Toyota and you may well think Prius, or Corolla. Toyota have built their reputation on well-made, economical sedans (and nearly threw it away with the whole "Unintended Acceleration" fiasco, but let's not get into that now). The only problem with being known for cars like that is that it earns you quite a mundane image. Back in the 1960s, Toyota decided it didn't want such an image, and wanted to prove that they could not only build an original car, but something that could compete with the world's sports cars. In 1967, they stunned the world with the 2000GT, which was developed in partnership with Yamaha. This, then, is Japan's first 'supercar'.

The first thing that hits you about it is its appearance. The proportions are just-so for a front-engined, rear-wheel-drive sports car, with a swept-back shape, and while some criticize it for looking like the Jaguar E-Type (XKE), I actually - dare I say it - prefer the Toyota at the back, because the tail just looks a little less... pinched. It's also deceptively tiny, with that long hood tricking you into thinking it's somewhat bigger than it is. I actually had the pleasure of seeing one at the Goodwood Festival of Speed (an annual gathering of history's greatest road and racing cars in southern England), and I can personally vouch for this. In fact, it's only 45.7 inches high, so when the 2000GT was used in the James Bond movie You Only Live Twice, they had to make a special open-top version so Sean Connery could fit in it! I guess good things come in small packages.

Front view. Pop-up headlights FTW.

It can cash the cheques its body writes, too. With a 150 horsepower, 2-litre (or 2000cc, hence the name) Inline-6 engine propelling the light aluminium body, it could keep up with the best of them, being able to hit 135mph in 1967 (and also managing 30mpg, although probably not at the same time). It wasn't just straight lines where it could impress either. Road&Track magazine said at the time that the 2000GT was "one of the most exciting and enjoyable cars we've driven", even comparing it favourably with that ever-present benchmark, the Porsche 911, as Toyota teamed its dynamic abilities with a rosewood veneer dash, auto-seeking radio and plenty of leather, all crammed into quite a small cabin but making it into a luxury GT.

The 2000GT ended up marking a turning point for Japanese cars. It was the first truly desirable car to come out of the nation, and because a mere 351 of them were made (as well as two topless Bond cars, one of which has disappeared), they now trade hands for a lot of money. They traded hands for a lot in the '60s, too, with US prices starting at $6,800, more than any Porsche or Jaguar of the time. Due to high production costs, Toyota didn't really profit on it either, and they made it primarily to make a point and to demonstrate their abilities as a company, which they certainly did, as the 2000GT won a 24-hour endurance race at Fuji Speedway and set several endurance records in a 72-hour test, which made Porsche stand up and pay attention to the Japanese automaker, designing the 911R just to beat them (a bit like the 911 Turbo S and the Nissan GT-R nowadays).

In many ways then, this was a highly successful car. It's easy to argue that they need to make an equivalent now, as their reputation for "beige" cars has come back with a vengence after they slowly killed all their '90s sports cars (Celica, MR2, Supra). But actually, they've already made it. So expensive they don't profit on it? A demonstration of their engineering? Getting the world to take notice and take Japanese sports cars seriously? That's the 2010 Lexus LFA. Unfortunately for them, it doesn't seem to have had quite the same effect, despite being a very impressive car...

Race-prepared Toyota 2000GT

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Photo Dump - McLaren

First of all, if you haven't already, check out the new blog title image I made! Pretty cool, right? It's quite simple, but the redesign needed a proper title image to look finished. Since I used the same engine for that as the background, I might consider changing the bg to a different small block V8, but for the time being, enjoy the new pic. Anyway...

 Gran Turismo 5's Photo Mode is brilliant, because not only do you get all the professional camera settings to choose from, but the resulting image can look incredibly realistic, even though the cars are no different to the ones you actually race. Because I've filled up my Flickr account, I'm going to post a set of photos on here every so often. This time, the theme is McLaren.

Most of these photos are in 1920x1080 resolution, but sometiems I forget to adjust the aspect ratio

Black & White is called Monochrome, because that sounds more professional. These F1 images are in 1620x1080

This was taken using the Cool Colours filter.

This image applies the "Cross-Processing" filter. I'm not really sure what that means...

A quiet, secluded home and a McLaren F1. That's a hell of a way to live.

A nice shiny carbon fibre diffuser, before CF diffusers were cool.

If you think this image looks threatening...

...you should see this one.

So that's the McLaren F1. Please don't claim these photos are your own! Now the newer MP4-12C. Sounds like a fax machine, goes like a rocket.

Here's the nifty air-powered airbrake. Instead of a big electric motor, it uses the gearbox hydraulics to punch it upwards, then lets the air going under it do the rest of the pushing. Clever.

Apart from a portrait picture, they will all be 1920x1080 from now on. This 12C has quick-release pins because I modified it

I was going to use this for the Tsukuba 9H endurance race, but it proved too much effort to drive over long periods without crashing.
Of course, that could have something to do with me giving it 670bhp to make it competitive...

Same shot as one of the F1 pictures above. Damn this car looks good in white.

It has something of a deranged grin about it, though...

Complete the look with Prodrive alloy wheels. I've been to Prodrive, I have. I drove a white car there, too.

But where are the tail lights?

Oh, there they are. The indicators are above the brake strip, and the reversing light is on the diffuser in the middle.

People say this car looks boring, but I just don't see it. Everything's there, what more could you add without spoiling it?

Here's the same shot in Monochrome. You can get black tailpipes by equipping the Cr.4,500 Sports Exhaust.

And that concludes my GT5 McLaren Photo Dump. I hope it didn't take too long to load!

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Lightest Car Ever Made Should Be Easy To Park

In recent years, cars have suffered something called "model bloat", wherein each new generation of a model gets longer, wider and heavier as more safety features and creature comforts appear. Happily though, the last couple of years have seem most makers fight against this in various ways, partly to improve their cars' efficiency, and in some cases also to improve the driving experience by making them less cumbersome. Leading the charge, it seems, is a group of Dutch scientists, who have created what is undoubtedly the smallest and lightest car in motoring history. That is, if you consider it to be a car at all...

This concept vehicle doesn't have a name, seeing as it was made by scientists and not a car company, so I'll call it the Twente Electron, because the lead author on the scientific paper about it - Dr. Tibor Kudernac - is a chemist at the University of Twente in the Netherlands, and it is propelled by electrons jumping into it from the tip of a "scanning tunnelling microscope". Beats lithuim-ion batteries, I guess. Part of its lightness is in the monocoque chassis, as amazingly, the whole car is actually made of one piece, with the integrated wheels moving the Twente Electron forwards by changing shape when the electrons hit the car. This level of lightweight engineering should make it very exciting to drive - especially given the instant torque of any electric car - but most of us will never know, because headroom could prove to be an issue, partly because of that very narrow-looking chassis, but mostly - and this should explain its unusual appearance - because it's actually a molecule. Even Richard Hammond would thus struggle to get inside it.

Everything I've said about it so far is true. It is powered by electrons hitting it, at which point the "molecular rotors" at each corner change shape as they absorb said electrons. It's designed to be a demonstration of "bottom-up" nanotechnology, building up from a single, carefully-designed molecule that does what naturally occurring protein-based molecular motors do (such as contracting muscles, for example), although applications for a molecular car are still something for the relatively distant future, according to Dr. Kudernac. The wheels, as you can see in the image below, are actually not very wheel-like, as they are flat and rotate to move the "car" forward like a kind of paddleboat-cum-quadbike.

Like all concept cars, then, this display of technology is not designed to be "hitting the road" any time soon, and hopefully when it does, they'll have sorted out the performance (and, er, headroom), as 0-60 is currently impossible unless it's attached to something that's travelling that fast anyway. In fact, ten shots of electricity is only enough for it to move 6 nanometres forward. That's 0.000006 mm, or six billionths of a metre. Imagine the standing quarter-mile time...

The other slight catch with the Twente Electron is that it only works when it's cold, and by cold, I mean freezing. And by freezing, I mean -266°C, less than 10°C off Absolute Zero, so that's their next challenge, because you can't very well send nano-cars inside people's bodies to repair something or transport an antibody in if you have to flash-freeze them to death first and put them in a 'high vacuum' for it to move.

The molecular machines would have to be built for any purpose found for them, which could take some redesigning, but Dr. Kudernac doesn't mind. "There are ways to play around. That's what we chemists do - we try to design molecules for particular purposes, and I don't see any fundamental limitations." Personally, I look forward to more Twente models. I don't suppose you could do a four-seat one next, guys? Or a one-make racing series? That would be cool. Very cool if it still has to be in very-sub-zero temperatures. *rimshot*

Source: BBC News

P.S. Regarding the quarter mile thing, there wasn't actually any mention of speed, but if my maths are correct, at the current rate it would take 67,056,000,000 shots of electrons just to get it that far!

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SBV8 Spec 2.0

Farewell, original layout.

Yes, this here blog looks different now. I might have to get used to it myself, but it was necessary, because the site now looks cleaner. It also has a new background, which is still a General Motors LSA smallblock V8 (so the pun still stands), which powers the Cadillac CTS-V, and will eventually power the Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 when it's unleashed next year. This slightly-wider SBV8 also allows for more tabs, which means I can give Video Sunday posts their own tab, seperating them from "SBV8", which usually refers to posts like this one.

I tried the new "Dynamic Views", but none of them quite did it for me, inventive as they were, so it's all layed out the same as the original. Consider it a facelift, like when a car is revised and tweaked to keep it fresh.

Otherwise, it's same old same old. Enjoy!

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Video Sunday - It's All Uphill From Here

 Uploaded: 29/10/11

Running Time: 5:22

Views When Posted Here: 38,805

Yesterday, I went to a local rally event in Yateley Wood. I might write about it later, but one thing I noticed when the 2WD class was climbing up a little hill after a tight hairpin is that compared to the 4WD cars, some of them struggled with it. This guy, however, won't struggle one bit in his 2WD car. This is partly because he's racing on tarmac (ok, it's entirely because he's on tarmac), but it's also because he is driving a hillclimb car. You might want to adjust your volume.

The car in question is a Mercedes-Benz 190E, apparently an ex-DTM car, which is propelled by a mix of slick tyres, a 6-speed sequential gearbox and a 564bhp 3.4-litre Judd V8 (apparently an old Formula 1 engine), which is revving to nearly 10,000rpm as it flies up this hill. With a vehicle weight of around 816kg, "flies" would be the operative word were it not for all the extreme aerodynamic add-ons. As you can see at 3:42, the rear wing could do with being fixed on with something a little sturdier, but it doesn't seem to be an issue. If you've seen this video before and/or want to skip the montage, go to 1:50 in the video... and experience the noise.

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Toyota FR-S - More Specs

Whoever scanned this needs to take the bar out the middle...

I was going to put this in an update to my original post about Toyota's and Subaru's antidote to the likes of the pious Prius, but there's been another sizeable spec-drop for the first fun affordable Toyota since the MR2 was killed off. This time it's about handling and the components and calculations that make this a rival to the Mazda MX-5 in terms of driver satisfaction. In case you didn't know, the MX-5's one of the very best small sports cars money can buy. Hopefully this won't get the same "chick car" image...

Thanks once again to the people at FT-86 Club, who also provided this much clearer image of Toyota's production car, as they have helpfully translated all the Japanese in whatever document Toyota is printing out early and expecting to stay secret, and it's even more good news for driving enthusiasts. To understand the hype, think of the ideal sports car. Imagine a small, light, agile FR-layout coupé with a centre of gravity lower than a Porsche's, the drag coefficient of a Nissan GT-R (0.27), the handling ability of a Mazda MX-5 (which is a bit like a front-engined Lotus), hidden mounting points for a rollcage and space in the back for a full set of spare tyres to get you home after a track day (or help you go nuts when you get there). Add on to that direct injection for high fuel efficiency, space for 4 people (assuming two of them aren't particularly big), a decent boot, and an engine with a 7400rpm redline, but designed to also have great low- and mid-range torque, that's also designed to be modified easily, or swapped out altogether and replaced with any motor Subaru has ever made, at least one of which won International Engine Of The Year. Then suppose it will cost roughly £15-25k (target price in the US is $25k). The "Toyobaru", as it is so nicknamed, is all of those things. It even has removable cupholders and a folding rear bench, presumably so you can fit the kitchen sink in, if Toyota and Subaru haven't hidden it in there somewhere already...

Too good to be true? Well, let's take a look at this page for a start (open it in another tab to enlarge it). Here, Toyota compare it to five other sports/supercars - including their own hyper-expensive Lexus LFA - in terms of the centre-of-gravity (CoG). A low CoG is essential to any sports car, because it minimises body roll and improves overall stability in corners. Having a flat and compliant base helps you point it where you want it to go. As you can see, its CoG is lower than that of a Nissan GT-R, Impreza STI, Evo X, and, crucially for engineering bragging rights, a Porsche Cayman, one of the best drivers cars on sale today. It's not miles off that of a Ferrari F360 either, and is only 15mm off the perfectionist LFA. Interestingly, an MX-5's CoG, from what I can find on Google, is around 447-457mm. That may not be entirely accurate, but it's still pretty darn low. To be fair to the Toyobaru, the MX-5 is a roadster, so there's much less mass high up than this fixed-head coupé, which is probably why it isn't in this comparison.

The weight distribution has also been judged to be better off not being 50:50. Instead, it's 53:47, which apparently makes it easier to control when it's sideways - something AE86 fans will really appreciate - and the slightly heavier front end gives it "a pure sense of steering". Basically, they would have to really mess up the suspension or use a really floppy body and chassis to ruin this car, and I suspect that with double wishbones in the rear and Macpherson strut suspension in the front mounted as low as possible, it won't be the former, and to be honest the latter is unlikely too, considering it was tested extensively at the Nürburgring.

It's not just for drivers who are all speed and no greed though - there is just enough room for two people to sit behind you, assuming no-one's fat or too tall (the seat back is curved to make room for knees), and the rear bench folds down to make room for four wheels and tyres, a helmet and tools, or two golf bags, if you're that way inclined. They also include an "assist pad" on the door sill, sliding front seats and an "assist grip" to support your upper body as you squeeze into the back. Thoughtful. The low weight and low drag coefficient (the other of two motivations to make the engine and front suspension so low - besides CoG - was to have a low bonnet and subsequently low front profile, improving aerodynamics) also mean relatively low fuel consumption and about 37mpg (combined, imperial figure), so it's no gas-guzzler.

I could go on further, but these things alone should pair up with the tuneable 200bhp, 151lb/ft engine and the 1210kg kerbweight to whet your appetite. If you still need persuading that this is the best idea Toyota have had in years, by all means follow this link and find out more. Oh, and don't forget the Subaru BRZ STI Concept either. It previews the Scooby version, but with some SEMA-style touches. "BRZ" means Boxer Rear[-wheel-drive] Zenith, which sounds like they didn't know what to call it, to be honest. I think they should use the 'Alcyone' name (possibly pronounced Al-cy-uh-nee) that they used on their two previous coupés, the quirky-but-rubbish XT and the quirky-but-oddly-pretty SVX. Words are more expressive than letters, and 'Alcyone BRZ' sounds kinda cool.

I leave you with this photoshop of the top image, with the centre line removed and the body coloured blue:

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10,000 Views

Stats Page. I can also see what browsers you're all using. What the hell is "Jasmine"???

This is just a little post to myself for having reached 10,000 views. It's quite lame that I feel the need to commemorate this, but never mind. I thought I'd put up something that those of you who don't blog may not have seen before, which is the Stats page. Here I can see what you're clicking on, why, how often, what with and from where, which is nice. The slightly depressing thing is that the majority of hits are from Google Images, but I guess that's fair enough for a small-time blog like this one. It's not like SBV8's being republished all over the internet.

For a while though, it wasn't images that earned the most-read article its top spot. For a while the one article that was republished elsewhere had the top spot, which was this one about Jeremy Clarkson's supercar apocalypse prediction being unfounded, as in a small way, the motoring world will always need supercars, as they're not as irrelevant as everyone thinks. After I started including more images though, I did a comparison between the Red Bull X1 (or X2010 as it latterly became known) and a normal Formula car, using original images taken on GT5, just to pass the time between F1 Grands Prix, and that post alone now has over 1000 views, thanks mostly to those virtual photographs.

As for the other sources, aside from shameless self-plugs on Jalopnik (mostly in the #oppositelock off-topic forum), there are a couple of obscure websites with forums that only members can see, such as pu.gg (a torrenting site), and more recently bllog.tk, which is just selling some kind of software and doesn't even have a link to any member-only content or anything, so I'm not really sure what's going on there. These sites bug me a little though, because if someone's finding my writing worthy of sharing, it would be nice to read what they and others think about it. Unfortunately I don't even know which post they're linking to, as one thing the Stats page doesn't tell you is who's clicking on what, but ho hum...

Personally, I like the Nissan GT-R article. Yes, that was a very good day anyway, but I think it reads well, like a story. I also like the supercar one above, and Video Sunday is fun to find videos for (the next one might be another McLaren F1 vid, I haven't decided yet, but there's an 11-minute vid of someone in an F1 GTR at a trackday, and it's aural sex). The Mini rant was fun to write too, and there might be another one coming up now there's a 2-seat Roadster version. I'm thinking I might redo one post though, having now driven an electric car, and I'll have to find a way to make the Abu Dhabi GP interesting, because it won't be. Hermann Tilke just did a squiggly line and then thought about facilities. I will say that if they had DRS at that race in 2010, Sebastian would certainly not be a double World Champion now, as Fernando Alonso would've cleared Vitaly Petrov with consummate ease and won it on points...

Anyway, there it is: Small Blog V8. One day soon I might be learning web design at college, so it'll look better then, but for the time being, feel free to click on the articles I've linked to here, and tell your friends! I want more non-image results...

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Formula 1 - Korean and Indian Grands Prix 2011

2011 Standard Issue F1 Podium

First of all, my apologies for missing the report on the Korean Grand Prix. It's only the second one I've missed out (the other being round 2 at Malaysia), so I'll sum it up here:

The Korean Race In A Nutshell:
> Lewis Hamilton out-qualifies Vettel by 0.2s, the first time a non-Red Bull gets pole in 2011
> Vettel overtakes Hamilton at Turn 4 on lap 1 and pulls away, Jenson Button falls behind Felipe 
   Massa at Turn 3, then passed by Mark Webber and Fernando Alonso at Turn 4, Webber passes 
   Massa later in the lap
> Button and Nico Rosberg swap places a couple of times after first pit stop, Button gets ahead
> Massa forced to wait as Michael Schumacher and Vitaly Petrov beat him out of the pits, the pair 
   also overtake Alonso during pit stops
> Petrov and Alonso brake too late for Turn 3, Alonso runs wide to narrowly avoid Petrov piling into 
   the back of Schumacher, Petrov later given 5-place grid penalty in India for taking himself and 
   Schumacher out of the race
> Safety Car out, Hamilton now very close to Vettel, but the Red Bulls were superior in 
   twisty sections, so Hamilton fell back towards Webber, who didn't end up beating him despite 
   spectacular battling through the twisty sections and passing him at Turn 1, after which Hamilton 
   could use DRS to re-pass, Webber finished 0.4 seconds behind Hamilton
> Ferraris both overtake Rosberg, who then pits and finishes out of the points
> Alonso passes Massa on pit strategy, he and Button catch up to LH and MW, but no-one 
   changes places
> Vettel gets 10th win in 16 races, Red Bull Racing win constructor's title

Top 5 Finishers: Vettel, Hamilton, Webber, Button, Alonso

You can see the full race results by clicking this link, but now we move onto India, which held its first ever Formula 1 Grand Prix this past weekend, at the (very) newly-built Buddh International Circuit in New Delhi. While the race itself was simply a demonstration of how F1 in 2011 works, the track was certainly interesting and received much praise from the drivers, but less so from Martin Brundle, who complained online about the commentary box being a room with no window rather than in a tower overlooking the circuit, as is usual. In fact, a lot of the facilities and such behind the pit lane looked plain and simple, suggesting that they didn't have a great deal of time to build it all in. Another sign of that was the amount of dust on the track, apparently from when it was still being built mere weeks ago...

The Indian Race:

Buddh International Circuit [Despite T3 meaning finish line on this map, I use T as "Turn"]

In A Nutshell:
> Vettel won from pole, never losing the lead, setting the fastest lap of the race and lapping 8th place
> Chaotic start at the back, as cars made contact into T1, Barrichello loses front wing, Kobayashi 
   and Glock taken out of race. Trulli punted off out of T3 but recovers
> Button ahead of Webber by T4 of lap 1 and stays there, Ferraris ahead of Hamilton
> Hamilton and Massa come together again, Rowan Atkinson's reaction looks like this: (GIF image) 
> Massa gets drive-thru, Hamilton pits for front wing, Massa's wing flexed until he repeated 
   Qualifying crash by breaking his suspension on a tall kerb and retires
> Alonso beats Webber in the pits, Schumacher beats Rosberg in the pits, Senna loses 9th in pits

Top 5 Finishers: Vettel, Button, Alonso, Webber, Schumacher

After Sebastian Vettel won the championship at Suzuka, surprising no-one, part of me hoped we would see the top teams make use of the pressure being taken off them and just have a blast for these last few races, but so far we haven't really seen that. Aside from Lewis Hamilton out-qualifying Vettel in Korea, these two post-championship races have simply been a demonstration of F1 2011. Vettel wins from pole, Mark Webber gets off to a shaky start and ends up racing Fernando Alonso, Felipe Massa and Lewis Hamilton bump into eachother, there are other little battles further down the field, with overtakes aided by DRS, and a McLaren finishes second.

That said, the new track seems to be really popular with drivers, and with less construction dust - weirdly you could see a clean line forming after a couple of laps, as if it was a wet race - it could play host to some pretty intense racing. They might want to make turns 5 to 7 slightly wider though, or keep it a challenge, as many drivers ended up skipping across the inside grass (by which I mean dust) through T7 and kicking up a big brown cloud. It's the section from there onwards where the track really comes alive though, with a fast and brutal chicane sending you towards a smoother version of Turn 8 at Turkey (that's the left-hand one with four apexes), through which you turn in, run wide as it tightens, and then fire the car out the exit on the second apex of sorts, shooting downhill a bit towards turns 13 and 14. T13 is a flowing left-hander, but T14 has one short, snappy apex, so you turn in hard and hit it hard, like the first Degner corner at Suzuka, then it's a swooping right-hander before you go over one of two DRS detection zones and turn a hard left onto the main straight (both long straights had a DRS Zone, the other activation point being through T3). Of course, you can't actually overtake anyone at any of these corners in an F1 car, because they don't require much braking and most of it only has one good line through it, but it must be great for qualifying. Where you can overtake, aside from after the DRS zones, is turn 3, which has a blind apex atop a small hill, but a very wide entry (much like T4), which allows drivers to take all kinds of lines in and hopefully improve overtakeability, if you will. Unfortunately, the dust was detrimental to that this year.

Before the race, there was a one-minute silence on the grid, with all the drivers, team bosses and officials gathering at the start/finish line, to remember Dan Wheldon and Marco Simoncelli, two great racing drivers taken before their time. On Saturday, Jenson Button said of Wheldon "We used to do karting together, and Dan was always the one for us to beat", mentioning that he was "a great racing driver" and a great guy. All the drivers wore tributes of some kind, some with black arm bands, and all with a 'DW' logo and Simoncelli's number 58 on their helmets.

Race Start: Anyway, the race. The disadvantage of wide corner entries is that the grid piled into the first corner all at once, which caused some synchronised swimming and accidental friendly fire in the back half of the grid, who entered a traffic jam rather than a corner. Rubens Barrichello accidentally bumped into team mate Pastor Maldonado, breaking his own front wing and forcing him to pit on the first lap for a new one, while Kamui Kobayashi was pushed wide by this friendly fire and was tagged by Tim Glock when rejoining, spinning them both round (and untimately putting them both out, but while Kobayashi only made it to turn 3 before he had to park it and watch from the side lines, Glock got to lap 4 and pitted to retire a Virgin car with internal bleeding of some kind). Narain Karthikeyan then caught the rear wheel of Jarno Trulli in turn 3, spinning the green Team Lotus car in similar fashion. Further up the grid, Fernando Alonso tried to go round the outside of a slower-starting Mark Webber, but slithered on the construction dust and made no headway. Jenson Button got into Webber's slipstream down the long back straight after Turn 3 and managed to out-drag him into the braking zone to T4, without the aid of DRS, which of course doesn't come into effect until lap 3. Meanwhile, both Bruno Senna and Michael Schumacher made very good starts, with Bruno going from 14th to 10th and Michael going from 11th to 8th place. One of the high-qualifying Toro Rosso cars fell back from the top 10 because of this, after the Ferrari-powered "B-Team" cars managed 9th and 10th on Saturday. In the end Jaime Alguersuari managed to hold onto a points finish in 8th, whereas Sébastien Buemi retired for technical reasons on lap 24.

Battles Commence: Having passed the self-proclaimed "Number two driver" at Red Bull, Jenson Button was in no way out of the woods yet. Once DRS came into play, Mark Webber was right on him, trying a move down the outside into turn 4, a dive which, had it been down the inside, would've seen him past, alas Button was able to shut the proverbial door on him by holding his racing line and forcing Webber to back off or run very wide. By lap 10 they were still within a second of eachother. Meanwhile, Bruno Senna lost out to Jaime Alguersuari in the DRS zone, trying to fight back until they were forced into single file by turns 5-7, at which point Alguersuari's 10th place was secured. Buemi passed him on the pit straight as they entered lap 10, also using DRS. Bruno then complained about his KERS not working. On lap 14, Pastor Maldonado's Williams went into neutral and over-revved, ending his race as he parked it well out of the way inside turn 6. Whether the botched gear change was his doing or not is unclear.

First Pit Stops: On lap 16, Mark Webber came in for more Option tyres, followed by Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton, who narrowly avoided tripping up a Red Bull pit crew member as he dived into his box for more options. Alonso was overtaken after rejoining by Michael Schumacher, who hadn't pitted yet. That didn't stop Alonso wanting to overtake the German, as he was losing time to Mark Webber in 5th place. He managed to pass Schumacher next time round, but had to get back in the slipstream of the faster Mercedes GP W02 before he could deploy DRS. He managed to get the job done though, and Schumi pitted that lap. Meanwhile, Jenson Button left the pits with his new Options comfortably ahead of Webber. Vettel then pitted without incident on lap 20.

Hamilton Versus Massa: On lap 23, Lewis Hamilton was able to close quite a gap to Felipe Massa after the Brazillian ran slightly wide in Turn 1 and slithered on that blasted construction dust that only makes one clean line through most corners. He chased him for the next lap, and then at turn 5 on lap 24 he was keen to use his extra speed out of T4 to squeeze up the inside of Massa, at a corner that isn't really wide or slow enoguh for overtaking, and the inevitable happened, as they connected and Massa spun round, wacking his left front wheel on Hamilton's front wing which pushed him straight, but he was now heading well off the track. Hamilton survived, claimed innocence, and pitted for a new front nose/wing. Massa then rejoined, but they both lost a few places in the process. His resulting stress meant that he then skipped across the very dusty grass inside T7 next lap. He and Hamilton were of course under investigation from the stewards. Meanwhile, Buemi's Toro Rosso stuttered to a halt at the same corner on lap 26, well off the road, but on the outside rather than inside. Thankfully there was no safety car.

By lap 30, the halfway point, the stewards decided that, for once, Felipe Massa was at fault, and he was given a drive-through penalty, which he served on lap 31 and exited two places ahead of Lewis Hamilton. That is, until he pitted again for a new set of Prime tyres and a new front wing, after his started shaking like an Indian singer's voice at high speed like it did in qualifying. To add insult to injury, on lap 34 he revisited qualifying again when he made the same mistake and took way too much kerb through T8/9 and snapped a suspension pushrod. It's easy to feel sorry for him, but why do it again after it killed you qualifying? The tall orange kerbs at that corner are inside of the normal red-and-whites, and are there to discourage drivers from trying to straighten that fast chicane out too much. I'm sure they're not meant to snap suspension arms, but still, if Hamilton can back out of going up the inside of T5 on someone else, why cna't Massa learn from his mistake? Alonso was then on camera and he didn't go near the tall orange kerbs.

Last Pit Stops, Finish: Mark Webber pitted in on lap 36 for Prime tyres, having run out of Options (in both senses), and after they proved to be "working", Alonso came in a lap later, exiting in front of him. Normally when Alonso and Webber are together on track we see some excellent professional racing, but this time it wasn't to be, even though they stayed close together up to the flag. Hamilton pitted on lap 46. Button then pitted without incident, as did Vettel, who still hand't lost the lead at any point. Michael Schumacher lasted until lap 51 out of 60 before putting primes on, managing to stay in 5th place ahead of his team mate Nico Rosberg. Behind them, Bruno Senna looked like he would score his second round of points since securing a seat in a Renault at Spa in the summer, but unfortunately he still had to make a mandatory change to Prime tyres, and when he did on lap 58, he dropped down to 12th place.

In the end, Sebastian Vettel won the race while setting the fastest lap on lap 60 out of 60, taking the chequered flag waved by cricket sensation Sachin Tendulkar, while Jenson Button came a solid second place again. At this race, Vettel set a new record for most laps lead in a season, beating Nigel Mansell's 92 laps. He said afterwards "I'm surprised there's a record left that didn't belong to Michael [Schumacher]". Well, there's one record of his that'll take some beating yet, even if Vettel stays on a winning streak. Fernando Alonso scored another podium by staying ahead of Mark Webber, while the two Mercedes GP cars finished 5th and 6th, ahead of a disappointed Lewis Hamilton (read: regular Lewis Hamilton). This finishing order was enough to secure McLaren 2nd in the Constructor's Championship. The remaining Toro Rosso finished one place above his qualifying position in 8th place, while Adrian Sutil scored two points for Force India at the team's first ever home Grand Prix (well, home to most of the employees and boss man Vijay Mallya, but they're actually based at Silverstone), and Sergio Pérez fought up from behind to clinch 10th place, having started in 20th.

Oh No De Di'in't! - After the race, of course, Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa had some things to say, but not to eachother. Lewis was all like "He hasn't spoken to me for ages. After the one-minute silence, I made an effort and said 'good luck for the race' and he didn't say anything", and then Massa was all like "So this is trying to what? 'Have a good race' is not part of talking or whatever." OH SNAP. He didn't think it was sincere! Like, drama! When asked what he could do to "heal the rift" between him and Lewis he said "Nothing from me". All this suggests that, like, he all mad, but apparently "I don't have anything against him - nothing, zero." Has he simply given up on making amends with Lewis after apparently trying in Singapore? It sounds like someone needs to sit them both down at a table and get them talking so they can iron this out. Either this, or a proper rivalry will develop out of it, which can make for entertaining racing, and interviews. Well, we've already had some sass from Felipe, saying twice that Lewis "doesn't use his mind". Hmmm......

With more constructor's positions secured, and yet more records now belonging to Sebatian Vettel, F1 now takes its emotional baggage to Abu Dhabi, for 55 high-speed parade laps in an elaborate setting, which will take place on the weekend after next, on 12th-13th November 2011.

Results and points below, click to enlarge:

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