If Only - The Barn Find Of My Dreams

A website I use often called Jalopnik.com does these "Question Of The Day/Weekend" posts every other day and on weekends. Some of them are made into definitive lists, some of them are more open, with weekend ones always being the latter. This weekend it's "What is the barn find of your dreams?". Well, I don't remember having such a dream before, but it set my imagination off. After suggesting the missing one of only two roofless Toyota 2000GTs from the 007 film You Only Live Twice, I devised a dream sequence that made my brain tingle when I thought of it. It wasn't as long as this - you can find it in the comments after scrolling past a cool dream of someone's about a McLaren F1 - but I thought I'd turn it into a story. A bedtime story, perhaps. It is quite late now...

"One of those slightly freaky people who packs a classic car in one of those airtight bags to preserve it instead of driving/polishing/displaying it lives somewhere quiet in the countryside. He lives on an old farm which he used to maintain, nestled amongst rolling hills somewhere green with a few yellow fields and a road-length driveway all to himself, dusty and un-tarmac'd. This man, getting on a bit but able to look after himself, minds his own business having made himself a tidy fortune doing whatever it might have been, and owns a big estate car as a workhorse and a pair of classic cars, the more valuable of which he started preserving after about 6 months of expensive ownership. One day, a storm brews and turns the sky a graphite grey before turning nasty and tearing through the area. No-one really knows what happened to the man that day, but people feared the worst, as he had disappeared by the time the storm had subsided and was never seen again. Over time, people went back to their things and the tatty remains stood for a decade or two, maybe even three. However, his barn, which is a 5-10 minute walk downhill from his house, is left essentially intact, with only a few roof panels being broken and the walls lightly scarred from objects caught in the wind striking it...

On holiday in America, I'm doing a little exploring in some rent-a-crap US market saloon, looking for wiggly bits on a big road map of the area near my hotel, when I happen across this old barn, sitting quietly in the summer air and flanked by a large and somewhat overgrown yellow field. No-one's around and curiosity gets the better of me, so I use the tool kit in the boot floor of my rented car to break the chain off the huge doors and pull on them. They take a bit of persuasion, but I persevere, and the doors swing creaking open... As they do, a ray of sunshine behind me erupts over a perfectly preserved 1967 Ferrari 275 GTB/4, sitting in its airtight bag waiting to breathe again (that was the first '60s Ferrari I thought of, although thinking again, a 250 GTO would be an awesome thing to find in this way). Sidenote: I don't know how long these "carcoons" have existed, so assume the car was mint before it was packed, be it restored, well looked-after or relatively box-fresh.

Thinking this probably belongs to someone, I spot an old house that is connected by a stony path clearly beaten into place by feet, and decide to go and ask about it. Walking up the hill, I spot a smashed, rusted-out estate car and what looks like a '70s Camaro in similarly bad, sunburnt shape, although the Camaro's sitting in a partially-demolished garage. The house looks just as beaten up as anything else man-made I've seen nearby, save for that Ferrari 275, still in its airtight bag. I knock on the door and it shudders open to reveal spider webs and copious amounts of dust on every surface. There's no-one there and it looks deserted. Having trekked back and torn through the airtight bag with a knife I found - only to find the zip afterwards - the car is free, soaking up the first rays of natural sunshine its original Rosso Corsa paintwork has felt in years as it sits gleaming next to a dusty old tractor and some other abandoned farming equipment. I look around. The key's on the inside wall of the front of the barn, hanging off a nail and somehow looking relatively un-aged compared to any other metal in the barn. As there's nobody around for miles and I didn't see any police cars on the way here, I decide there's only one thing for it: I syphon the fuel from my rented car and fill up the Ferrari, hoping that the lack of any outside air getting to it meant the oil was still okay...

Before I know it, I'm going through quiet countryside in a 1960s V12 Ferrari, windows open, sunny but not too bright or humid, wind sweeping past the sunglasses I found in the glove box. It was a glorious day, listening to that engine sounding as sweet as it ever did, working through the gears, the undulating, twisty roads to nowhere all to myself. Because I'd used quite a lot of fuel finding this car, I had to pick a fairly short route through the rolling hills before returning to the barn, packing it back up and duct-taping the bag together to make it airtight again, before shutting the barn back up and crawling back to the hotel on very low fuel indeed in my anonymous saloon, stereo off so I could instead remember the sound of that 3.3L, 300bhp Colombo engine as it was still ringing in my ears.

The Ferrari 275 became my little secret. Whenever I was down or had the time during that month or two I was on holiday, it was off to the secluded barn, which I thankfully found a quick route to get to, always in a rent-a-car full of Super-Unleaded and a jerry can half-full of the cheap stuff for the trip home (the fuel tank is bigger than a jerry can, so I still syphoned fuel from the saloon). Each different day I was in it blurred together into one blissful montage of joy and emotion behind the wheel of that wonderful car, and by the time my holiday was over, I simply locked it up good and tight, sighed a sigh of sadness and whispered "goodbye" to it before I went back home. Needless to say, I knew where to go next year: the same place as the year before."

Then I came to and started being rational and considering details such as where the power to keep the bag inflated was coming from and the eventual wear-and-tear on the car requiring service of a vehicle belonging to a dead man, and the dream was spoilt...

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Sky F1 - A Calmer View

If you're on the main page, you can scroll down and read my initial reaction to the bad news that despite mention of F1 being "Not for sale" and Bernie Ecclestone saying it would be "disastrous" for F1 not to be on free-to-air TV (although since when was he a trustworthy person?), Sky has got its greedy hands on Formula 1 TV rights. I still stand by a lot of what I said - the presenters will probably be style-over-substance and have an irritating demeanour, the pre-race show will be interrupted with adverts for the million other Sky Sports, er, sports, and the commentators won't be as entertaining - but after learning a little more about the deal, it's not as bad as I thought it was.

The deal is currently going to last six years (from 2012-2018), and the BBC will still be able to show the full highlights of the races they're no longer allowed to broadcast live, so those of you who cannot afford the £610 for a Sky HD box can still see what essentially happened in those races. I still don't like that the BBC can't be there for every race, but they've already confirmed Monaco, Silverstone and the final race as ones they are covering themselves (given the choice for races that both channels cover, I will always choose the BBC). Sky coverage won't see adverts during the race like ITV did, but there will still be adverts before and after, and Sky ads are annoying. As far as I'm aware, it won't be in 3D, but because I can't afford a 3DTV and don't want to be sucked into an expensive gimmicky fad, that means nothing to me. The lack of in-race ads sounds like a calm-down tactic to me (and others), but hopefully that 'feature' will stay throughout the whole 6 years anyway. Hopefully the 6 years will be the full extent of Sky coverage as well. I want it to stay on the BBC, as I'm sure is abundantly clear by now.

I've previously mentioned FOTA and their potential to turn this on its head, but they haven't made any noises so far, and technically you can still follow a whole season on free-to-air, even if it isn't all live. The one big thing that will stop a lot of people watching Sky F1, even those that can afford the hideously expensive (and in my experience quite unreliable) Sky box, is that the money goes directly to Rupert Murdoch, who I gather is some sort of evil villain. He runs News Corp, for instance, which includes the recently shut-down phone hackers, News of the World. His media empire doesn't really need another major sport in it, but the fact that it will next year is a sad sign that both he and Bernie Ecclestone (Formula 1 owner and sentient, bespectacled troll doll) are equally greedy for money...
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Formula 1 - Coverage To Get Cancer Next Year

The best F1 broadcast team I've watched. Plus Jonathan Legard.

I feel outraged and disgusted when I inform you that the BBC's Formula 1 coverage will be cut in half next year because of BskyB.

As you may have read, an 'agreement' has been reached so that in 2012, Sky Sports will be the only channel network to broadcast the entire season of Formula 1, and BBC will only be able to show half the races live [Source: F1Fanatic]. The key problem with that is that BBC is a "free-to-air" channel, in that the channels are free to anyone who pays for their TV license in the UK. Or if you prefer to think of it this way, it is required by law that you are able to watch TopGear and Formula 1. The Formula One Teams Association (FOTA) state in their contracts that F1 must remain on free-to-air television, but next year it won't be, not a full season at least. If you want to see every race live - something that's effectively free this year - you will have to buy a subscription to Sky TV. Want HD, which again is free with the BBC? That'll be £610 a year. That's outrageous! Especially as 2013 will probably see a full-scale takeover.

Think of it like this

It doesn't just stop there, either. The BBC coverage is the best F1 coverage. That's a fact of life. Informative and entertaining presenters and commentators, professional interviewers, viewer participation on the red button with the F1 Forum (which is normally worth a watch if you've got an hour after the race). I remember watching F1 on ITV a few years ago, and Mark Blundell was a hopeless pundit, James Allen was an annoying commentator and the damn races kept going to adverts every 10-15 minutes or so. In 2009, after 10 minutes of the first pre-race programme, it was so noticeable how much better it all was, and particularly how much more genuinely informative it was, and is. Unfortunately I lost a bet with myself that David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan would have a fight while arguing over a controversial overtake or something, but other than that there were no disappointments. The people of F1 - team members and such - seem to have respect for them when they're on camera too.

I know what Sky are like, they won't keep most of these people on. Sure, they'll probably get Ted Kravitz quite easily - he's tied more to the sport than a particular channel - and perhaps Lee McKenzie, but they won't get top presenter Jake Humphrey to follow them over to the dark side, nor EJ or DC, nor Martin Brundle I suspect. The rest of the roles will be filled by people that look pretty on TV rather than people who actually know what they're bloody talking about. Have you ever seen Sky Sports News? Exactly. All plastic women and the odd flatulent Scottish sexist here and there. I don't want adverts back on my F1 screen either. I don't want to pay money for SkyPlayer to watch the currently-free highlights online that aid my race reports on here. I flat-out don't want Sky F1 coverage, even if I can get it. It'll be more like the ITV coverage, which was significantly worse, and will likely be presented by people that look and sound like rich bastards rather than petrol-blooded F1 enthusiasts.

Hopefully this will just be some horrible one-off, as FOTA chief and McLaren's Technical Director Martin Whitmarsh said a few months ago "All of the FOTA teams believe in free-to-air television ... Our current contracts require that F1 remain on free-to-air and the teams, through FOTA, are clearly going to safeguard their business interests and the interests of the fans in this regard." Fight valiantly lads and lasses, and know that you have the British public on your side, as well as people in other countries that receive the BBC commentary on the radio. This is not a good idea, it is not in the best interest of the sport, it's not what the viewing public want, and Sky, you're NOT welcome into the world of Formula 1. Leave it.

UPDATE [30/7/11] - I've written a little more here. It's not quite as rant-y as this is.
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Formula 1 - German Grand Prix 2011

This is what it's like to be at the back. Is it depressing? I don't know. I guess they're just happy to be in F1.

The Nürburgring needs no introduction*. Unless you've never heard of it before, in which case, what the hell have you been doing?! For those of you that haven't, I can tell you it's neither spelt nor pronounced "Nuremberg Ring", which some people get confused about because the town of Nuremberg is much better-known to non-car folk than the little village of Nürburg, which is nestled inside the fearsome Nordschleife (North Loop) that climbs, drops and winds round 12.95 miles of terror, graffiti, and barriers too close for comfort. Formula 1 used to race on it, and it took no shame in flexing its muscles on the likes of triple champion Niki Lauda, whose crash in 1976 left him with one heavily burned ear, damaged lungs and blood and permanent scarring after a fiery crash on lap 2 in which he inhaled toxic fumes. Jackie Stewart won there and dubbed it "The Green Hell", calling it the scariest track he'd ever raced on. Sadly, health and safety bods won't let F1 cars anywhere near this track now - not that the undersides would last more than 5 laps anyway - so what used to be called the Südschleife has now been made into a more suitable track for modern F1 cars. It still has undulations, dodgy cambers here and there and daunting fast bends, so it's a fitting addition to the 'Ring. The two routes are joined together for the 24-Hour race that takes place here at around the same time as Le Mans. *Skip down to here if you don't need the introduction

This is Vettel not winning. Treasure it.
It may not happen again.

It is also home to a quarter of the current F1 grid, including Michael Schumacher and championship leader Sebastian Vettel, who like Jenson Button, hasn't won his home GP yet. After being beaten by both Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton, he probably wanted to show everyone he's not about to be kept off the top spot for good. It would seem that the nerves got to him here however, as team mate Mark Webber - who got his first win at this track in 2009 - beat him in Qualifying, as did Lewis Hamilton. Both these men said after qualifying that they drove out of their skin and couldn't get any more out of the car on that day. Lewis went as far as saying it was probably the best lap he'd done all year. Fernando Alonso continued his form of amazing consistency by qualifying 4th for the third time this season, after qualifying 5th for the first six races in a row. The top 4 on the grid were covered by just half a second, and with Nürburg's unpredictable weather that could bring sun, rain or even snow all in the same weekend (even at this time of year, somehow), it was in no way certain who would win the race on Sunday...

The start line has been moved this year, cutting the run down to the first corner in half. That still gave Lewis Hamilton enough road to pull ahead of Mark Webber before turn 1, as the Australian bogged down a little off the line, giving him a slower start. Going into the incredibly tight first corner, Alonso was able to squeeze down the inside of Vettel, who fought valiantly in the next couple of corners, but was forced to surrender 3rd place to the Spaniard. Further down, Nick Heidfeld tapped Paul Di Resta after turn 2, spinning him round and putting them both at the very back of the grid, continuing an unlucky streak for the Scot that started in Canada which he understandably describes as "a joke". A lap after Alonso passed Vettel, he ran wide out of turn 2 and Vettel seized the easy opportunity to reclaim 3rd, as Hamilton started pulling away from Webber. Because it rained before the race, while it was dry enough for slicks the fake grass on the outer kerbs were holding water, which caught out the best of them in a couple of corners, including Alonso here, who wobbled onto the large run-off area.

It took until lap 8 for Alonso to retake 3rd, by using a lot of his KERS energy down the pit straight (which is not where the DRS Zone is - that's heading towards the chicane near the end of the lap) and making a decisive move down the inside. That last sentence sounded like something out of a video game, didn't it? Anyway, he must've planned that move during the 5-lap chase, knowing that the available amount of KERS energy is reset when you cross the line, meaning he could keep his finger on the button all the way down the pit straight and pass Vettel in turn 1. Meanwhile, Webber was hanging on to Hamilton's tail, just 0.875s behind, and the other McLaren driver Jenson Button struggled to gain pace in the middle of the pack. Unfortunately, just as he hit his stride and started making up ground, he was forced to retire from 6th place on lap 36, due to hydraulics problems. Hydraulics control the pedals, gear changes, steering, all kinds of stuff, so when they fail the car becomes something of a safety hazard. It's his second retirement in a row due to vehicle technicalities out of his control...

This is Red Bull, not winning. Treasure it. It may not happen again.

His third place would be forever lost as a clearly pressured Vettel braked with two wheels on standing water (held in the aforementioned green fake grass) going into turn 10 and spun round into the run-off area, costing him 7 seconds and putting fellow countryman Nico Rosberg and Ferrari's No.2, Felipe Massa, right on the back of him. After this, he may have hoped for a Safety Car, as Nick Heidfeld collided with Sébastien Buemi's Toro Rosso, ripping the Lotus-Renault driver's front wing clean off and shooting him into the gravel at turn 12 where the DRS Zone ends. Luckily for us but unluckily for Vettel, Heidfeld was far enough off the track that a JCB with a crane could easily pick up and take his car away under yellow flags instead. To add insult to injury, Heidfeld was then given a Drive-Thru Penalty for hitting Di Resta on lap 1, which he subsequently didn't have to serve, seeing as there is no greater penalty than being taken out of the race completely. This left five of the six Germans in the race, with one of those five under serious pressure from Felipe Massa, who eventually overtook Nico Rosberg in a similar move to Alonso on Vettel, down in turn 1, on lap 12. He would go on to finish ahead of the Mercedes GP driver in 5th place. At the end of lap 12, Lewis Hamilton had a little scare, as he got it wrong through the turn 12 chicane and ran wide, allowing Webber through into the lead of the race, before getting in the Red Bull's slipstream and drag racing him into the first corner, squeezing past and retaking the lead for good. Alonso then put serious pressure on the Australian, as the top three drivers pulled far away from the rest of the grid. So we knew which three drivers would stand on the podium, but which way round would they be?

Mark Webber was the first to pit, ending up behind team mate Vettel and Felipe Massa, who had started a duel with each other that would last all race long. Massa passed Vettel at turn 12, who was then passed by Webber before diving into the pits. That lap, both Hamilton and Alonso pitted, exiting very close together in the same order they entered and exiting just ahead of Mark Webber and Felipe Massa, but because they were already on the track they were of course going much faster, so all all four of them piled into the first corner together, Massa came out in the lead (but "out of position", as he hadn't yet pitted), with Webber leading Hamilton and Alonso. Massa pitted that lap to give Webber the lead back, exiting just ahead of Vettel. Meanwhile, further back, Michael Schumacher made the same error at turn 10 as Vettel, getting on the standing water under braking and sliding off the track, except he was actually able to hold the slide for most of the corner, albeit already on the run-off area, not ending up back-to-front until he was parallel with the exit. He quickly righted himself with a little half-donut and carried on, perhaps briefly with a face as red as his helmet as he made an elementary mistake in front of his home fans. As lap 30 became lap 31, we entered the second half of the 2011 Formula 1 season. All of us. Yes, even YOU are in the second half of the season now. Welcome. Each of the three top drivers were looking to start their second half off in a high, and sure enough it was still closely fought at the front between Hamilton, Alonso and Webber.

This is a Red Bull, not- oh you get the idea...

After another round of pitstops had begun, Hamilton exited the pit lane just ahead of Webber, who tried a daring move down the inside of turn 2, only to be shrugged off by Hamilton on the exit, who was determined to stay ahead of the Red Bull driver in his quest for victory. Alonso pitted the following lap (because of the fast-degrading Pirelli tyres, pit strategies often become reactive to other drivers around you, so this kind of thing happens often now), and he exited the pits - have you guessed it yet? - just ahead of Hamilton and Webber. The two following men had an extra lap over Alonso tyre-wise and caught up the gap very quickly in the braking zone for turn 1. Hamilton, perhaps still full of adrenaline after fending off Webber, started getting ideas and put a move around the outside of Alonso into turn 2. Unlike Webber, he was actually able to pull it off and take the lead of the race fair and square once again. Did Alonso even think that someone could successfully go the long way round in that corner? He certainly knows now, as of lap 33 out of 60. The top three were still covered by only 1.5 seconds or so at this point, and the each podium position was still up for grabs.

With 8 laps to go, Hamilton finally put on the mandatory second dry rubber compound, but Alonso and Webber tried to maximise their 'Option' tyre's extra grip for as long as possible to try and undercut Hamilton in the pits and exit on front of him. For a moment it seemed like Alonso could still steal a late victory in the closing stages, but what could've been a cunning plan backfired on Alonso, who exited the pits on lap 54 just behind Lewis Hamilton, with Webber yet to come in and out in front, but he would prove to stay out for too long, as it was now better to be on fresher 'Prime' tyres than worn 'Options' in terms of grip and subsequently lap times. It was now clear that Webber would finish 3rd after all this, but who would win? The answer is Lewis Hamilton, who pulled off some daring moves and stayed determined throughout 60 gruelling laps of the Nürburgring F1 circuit to take his second win of the season 3.9 seconds ahead of Alonso and 9.7 seconds ahead of Mark Webber.

Red Bull, not winning, etc.

This meant of course that for the first time this season, Sebastian Vettel hasn't finished on the podium, ending a 9-race streak of finishing in the top 2. But he was still locked in a battle with Felipe Massa that had raged for 3/4 of the race, and both drivers still needed to change to the harder tyre in keeping with the race rules. On lap 58 of 60, he was told by his race engineer "Do the opposite of Massa. If he comes in, stay out, if he stays out, you come in". Massa stayed out and, surprisingly, so did Vettel, who clearly chose to ignore the instruction. They both started lap 59 with a pit stop still to do and no more than 0.2 seconds between them. This was now a race between the Red Bull and Ferrari pit crews as they went in together at the last possible opportunity, at the end of the penultimate lap of the race. Both teams have been religiously practising their pit stops, but it was Red Bull that won over Ferrari as Vettel sailed calmly past Massa to exit the pit lane with a backmarker in between them, effectively preventing any last lap scrap and sorting out the top 5 finishers.

The question remains though, why couldn't Vettel have got past Massa at any other point in their ~45-lap battle? Is it because, as I suspect, he's not good at spotting an overtaking opportunity and prefers winning from the front? Webber was prepared to put the same car round the outside of Hamilton in turn 2 (a risky move considering the target driver), but Vettel always seemed to look for the easy option when he was on-screen. This is something he really needs to sort out if he plans on winning any more races this year, as Red Bull clearly don't have it easy anymore...

Alonso ran out of fuel 2/3 of the way round the track after the chequered flag dropped, so he had to hitch a ride with Webber to get back to the pits! Reminiscent of Senna hitching a ride with Mansell at Silverstone in 1987.

So there we have it. Lewis Hamilton conquers the Nürburgring this year. Next year will see Hockenheim host the German GP, as the two tracks alternate each year. Already, as you read this, Friday Practice will probably be taking place for the next race - er, sorry about that, I've been a little busy - but I shall endeavour to post a review of the upcoming race on Sunday night, because I'm going on holiday next week.

With 10 finishes in the top 4 so far, will Webber enter the next race Hungary for victory? Can I come up with a better pun than that? Find out on Monday morning!

Results & Points (Click To Enlarge)

Race pics from F1Fanatic.com

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Could The Lotus T125 Save The Supercar?

Also available in green with a yellow stripe, red and white with a gold stripe, black with gold highlights and yellow.

Just now I watched TopGear. I actually thought it was actually a pretty good episode, after last week had its ups and downs (while I loved the GT-R's astonishing lap time and Rowan Atkinson's, er, astonishing lap time, I thought the train bit wasn't what it could've been and essentially acted as episode padding). The Jensen Interceptor bit was awesome and very funny, the demolition bit at the end was awesome and very funny, and the guest was, well, pretty good. It's difficult to top Rowan Atkinson though...

One bit of the episode, however, made me think. It involves the car you see here, the Lotus Exos T125, essentially a lightly watered-down Formula 1 car. A few stats first: The Exos produces 650bhp from a Cosworth V8 revving to around 10,500rpm and weighs just 600kg, giving it 1083bhp/tonne, compared to a ~700bhp, ~450kg F1 car. It costs about £600,000 and comes with some amazing features as standard, including a hand-operated clutch, a personal trainer and cook, adjustable front and rear wings, a team of mechanics, an inbuilt starter motor (unlike a real F1 car), Jean Alesi, slick tyres, a massage therapist and a truck full of... Racy Things. I can safely say that none of these things are available either standard or as an option on the Lotus Evora S. Well, apart from the starter motor perhaps. For more info on the car, see the video just below this text.

Stephen Wright from Lotus Motorsports explains the philosophy behind the Lotus Exos T125

The idea is that you buy into the "Exos Club" and can hold onto your own car if you want to just use it like any other track car, or alternatively you can ring Lotus up and tell them you'd like to go to a race circuit for a driving lesson or track session with full support, in which case they arrange a date and send over all the stuff I mentioned above (i.e. your own racing team for the day). I think the Lotus T125 is actually a brilliant idea, not just because those with sufficient funds can get a genuine feel for what it's like to be a Formula 1 racing driver, but also because, potentially, it could save the modern supercar from looking foolish, something I have expressed distaste for in the past.

You see, in an ideal world, morons who somehow have huge amounts of money that they spend on supercars will have also watched TopGear just now. These people will be excited at the idea of Jean Alesi cupping them to fit the seat foam in under their bottom, as well as the idea that they could, in a way, outrun The Stig, and will thus decide that they would be prepared to spend that £600,000 or so on admission to the Exos Club, in order to officially be one-up on the guy down the street who owns two Veyrons and a Koenigsegg.

Why is that a good thing? Because then they won't all go out and buy matte-pink Lamborghini Murciélago SVs and murdered-out Ferrari 599s vomited-on carelessly by Mansory and then street race them through London in the middle of the night thinking that even though they are tasteless and talentless buffoons, they can get away with it somehow because their daddies (some of whom are oil sheiks) could pull together and just buy the whole country to get them out of trouble. Instead, they would be buying into the greatest driving school you could possibly imagine, with full tutelage from Monsieur Alesi or a different retired F1 driver to help you overcome your fear of crashing and becoming a genuinely skilled track driver.

This would not only mean that there would be fewer high-speed accidents in exotic cars, because they're actually talented drivers now, but as they're spending time and money at race tracks, they'll also have less to spend on customising their supercars, and maybe even less money to spend buying supercars in the first place, so The Sanctity Of The Ferrari would potentially be saved from the evil, oily clutches of tuning companies, and we can finally stop associating Ferrari and Lamborghini and Bugatti with idiotic playboys who've had them painted matte black and Arab poseurs with less taste than someone who's burnt their tongue numb or lost it altogether in a tragic throwing knife accident, and just appreciate them for what they are: technological showcases, mobile works of art, instruments of speed, a cylinder symphony that is to car fans what Mozart is to pianists. Jewels in the golden crown of motoring.

But wait, there's more: maybe, just maybe, they'll feel the same effect that some F1 drivers get after a while, in that they get the lust for speed out of their system by hurling a race car around Silverstone/Laguna Seca/Nürburgring GP track/Wherever and don't feel the need to drive like cock-ends on the road in their supercars (1996 World Champion Damon Hill drives an Audi A3, for instance, and Lewis Hamilton said in 2007 that he had a Mercedes GL420, which a diesel SUV). Again, this means that supercars won't be associated so much with idiocy, and that examples of these brilliant cars last longer, because fewer people will do a Ryan Dunn (or something similar yet somewhat less severe). It'll instead be down to the makers of these cars to preserve them by making sure they don't set fire at some point, which unfortunately still happens...

If there are limited numbers at Lotus's Exos Club, and there probably are to assure exclusivity, fear not. The surge in popularity would convince the likes of Ferrari, McLaren and others to start their own, similar programs with watered-down F1 cars (the million-euro FXX Program is a very similar idea). Hey, it's happening at the moment with "prestige SUVs" and "luxury crossovers", so why not with stuff like this? We're already riding a wave of track-day specials. Maybe Porsche could do a similar thing with a full-blooded GT3-RSR, and purveyors of Indycars could offer one based in Americaland. The likes of Caterham and Radical could also offer a more budget option for those of us that don't have half a million quid to burn, or already spent it on a lifetime's supply of penny sweets and a private dentist.

The side affect of this is that yes, supercars might become a little rarer. But the ones from about Lamborghini level downwards wouldn't be ruined, and seeing one will feel all the more special for it. Besides, there's no reason why these people can't still have an AMG Black Series or a Ferrari 458 Italia. They just won't be so careless with them if they do. I should be clear at this point that I'm not saying I want people who have supercars to hide them away or treat them like some kind of priceless time bomb. Quite the opposite, in fact. What I don't like is when they show off in an irresponsible or immature manner that disturbs people in the night and endangers people on public streets, like these idiots, or poseurs who don't actually care what car they drive as long as it costs a hell of a lot and has a flashy badge on it (these people can instead boast about having the next best thing to an F1 car all to themselves).

If these people were drawn away from supercars and made into serious and talented drivers, the motoring world would become a better place. Hopefully the trackday world wouldn't be ruined in the process...

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Supercar Saturday - Jeremy Clarkson Just Had A Crisis

Do you think the design chief at AMG designs monsters for cartoons as a side project?

The tall shouty bloke off TopGear is a big fan of Mercedes-Benz's AMG branch, purveyors of testosterone-fuelled sports/muscle car versions of ordinary saloons and coupés. He owns a CLK63 AMG Black Series, a special edition of the CLK63 AMG made by AMG's even sportier sub-division that's a grizzly, shouty version of the grizzly, shouty version of the CLK coupé. After loving that and having huge praise for the C63 AMG saloon when it came out, his head will probably explode when he sees the creature you see here, for you see, this is the latest monster to emerge from the darkest, maddest corner of Mercedes-Benz: the 510bhp AMG C63 Coupé Black Series.

Now, let's get this out of the way first: I know it's red, not black, but as I've mentioned, "Black Series" is the name of a specialist sub-division of AMG, not some tag they put on to limited-run black-painted versions of otherwise ordinary cars like some other car companies do. I'm pretty sure it is also available in black though, should you not want to explain that to people drawn in by its outrageous looks. The already-big intakes and grilles of the C63 AMG and its recently-released coupé version (part of the first 2-door C-Class range ever, to replace the CLK) have been replaced by bumper holes perhaps twice as tall, combining with the 2011 facelift's new headlights to make one of the angriest faces in motoring today, a look continued right through to the aggressive rear diffuser and quad-exhausts, with big heat vents on the aluminium bonnet, and nestled behind each of the four massively flared wheel arches that draw the eye to those 19" polished alloy wheels (9" wide at the front, 9.5" at the rear).

Despite all that flare, this car's not all show and no go; this is the most powerful C-Class ever. The 6.2 V8 engine has been tuned up from 450bhp, past the 487bhp of the AMG Performance Pack and all the way up to 510bhp, 10 more than the CLK it succeeds, as well as "over 620NM of torque", or about 457lb/ft, which could be exactly the same as the CLK's nice round 460lb/ft. Combined with AMG coilover sports suspension, uprated brakes, a carbon fibre bodykit and bucket seats with the rear bench removed - saving 20kg - the extra power drops the 0-60 time to just 4.2 seconds (from 4.5). Unfortunately the press release doesn't mention the top speed, but because this is from one of the German "Grosser Drei", we can safely assume it's electronically limited to 155mph (250km/h).

The old CLK63 Black Series. No, this one isn't black either...

The power is sent to the rear wheels via a 7-speed "AMG SPEEDSHIFT" automatic transmission, and the presence of an auto 'box might lead you to think this brawny beast is diluted or otherwise not hardcore enough. I reckon it's for 3 reasons: 1) Mercedes buyers don't really go for manual 'boxes, 2) A sequential gearbox would be too racy for a Mercedes road car, and 3) A super-fast-shifting DCT à la GT-R would be too heavy for the track. You can change your own gears with paddles, as is the way these days, but it's one clue that Mercedes-Benz are trying to balance track-friendliness with road-friendliness. The CLK Black, for instance, may have race-grade internals, but many owners use it as a road car, including Mr. Clarkson, whose Black Series actually IS black.

For those that already have an E230 CDI for road driving and want to use this as a track car, fear not. You can un-dilute this car with the AMG Track Pack, which adds, and I quote: "Dunlop sports tires and active rear-axle transmission cooling, plus the AMG Aerodynamics package including flics, a functionally tuned front splitter and an adjustable carbon-fiber rear aerofoil". Serious. Unfortunately there aren't yet any pictures of the Track-Pack-equipped uprated version of this, the uprated version of the uprated version of the C-Class Coupé, which is perhaps meant to fight against the equally hardcore and bespoilered BMW M3 GTS.

Those that remember the C63 AMG saloon for being particularly wayward will be reassured by promises that the standard C63 AMG Coupé is tighter and more performance-focussed in its setup than the saloon (which has to balance sports-car-fast with executive civility), and this Black Series version is of course even more so, with a locking limited-slip differential (LSD), front air splitter, engine parts from the SLS supercar, a stripped-out interior with bucket seats covered in a super-light microfibre they call "DINAMICA", and a "RACE START" launch control feature. To remind passengers and passers by that you're in a hardcore AMG, that naturally-aspirated V8 makes an even manlier noise than usual, thanks in part to the extra power and a sports exhaust system. Aside from the SLS, the C63 is the only AMG left to use this brilliant non-turbocharged engine with its wave of torque at almost any RPM, as we're now in an age of downsizing and turbocharging to add efficiency, something that's even due to affect Formula 1 in 2014, where 1.6-litre V6 turbos will replace the 2.4 V8s, along with a bigger KERS...

To remind the world of F1 what a big NA engine can do, the C63 AMG Coupé Black Series (there's no real way to shorten that down without calling it BS...) will be strutting its stuff in the paddock at this weekend's German Grand Prix, a report of which you can read on Monday. Or Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. But definitely before next Weekend. Honest. Until then, I'd like you to imagine what it would be like for Black Series to make a car that doesn't have to balance road and track and can just be a hardcore track version. Perhaps a 600 horsepower SLS Black Series that borrows from the GT3 racer and has a sequential gearbox and a rollcage. You can fill in the rest...

Black Series next to the "regular" C63 AMG Coupé. Feel the menace...

Tech Specs:

Layout: Front-Engined, Rear-Wheel-Drive

Engine: 6208cc V8, Naturally Aspirated

Power/Torque/CO2: 517PS (510bhp) / 457lb/ft (620NM) + / 319g/km

Weight: 1710kg

Acceleration: 0-62mph (0-100km/h) in 4.2s, 0-100mph unknown at this time

Top Speed: 188mph (302.5km/h) - Limited

Price: €97,000 / £85,458 / $139,307 + Local Taxes

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Formula 1 - British Grand Prix 2011

Naturally the race attracted a few British VIPs, including Damon Hill, Jackie Stewart, Prince Harry and Murray Walker

Interesting Fact: The prestigious Silverstone circuit (which hosted Britain's 66th Grand Prix last weekend) is in-between two counties, Northamptonshire and Buckinghamshire. Now that the Start/Finish line has been moved to the bottom end of the circuit, the 2011 race is classed as taking place in Buckinghamshire, whereas it was previously run 'in Northamptonshire'. True story.

More Interesting Fact Than That: This is the first weekend of the season where Sebastian Vettel didn't win at anything on Saturday or Sunday. No win, no pole, no fastest lap. His only claim to fame here was the fastest time in the third Practice session by just 0.04 seconds. This turnaround could be down to the one-off ban on blown diffusers (when exhaust gases are sent through the diffuser and the throttle stays on a bit to maintain downforce through slow corners and give much better traction out of them), which it could also be argued turned out well for Ferrari, who had stayed suspiciously quiet about the whole row over banning it or not. This also rekindled speculations by some that FIA is actually short for Ferrari's International Assistants, something that seemed very apparent in 2007/8. Anyway, enough of that. Fernando Alonso can claim this win on merit after seizing an opportunity and charging to victory under typically British weather (read: weather that was all over the place).

On the grid it was a close tyre call, as it was damp-but-drying. TV viewers would juggle between playing it safe on Intermediates and risking it on slicks... right up until the Formation Lap took place and they saw that drivers calling the track half and half weren't kidding - from just before Brooklands to the Hangar Straight, it looked like a wet race, but the bottom half of the track, where the new pit straight is, looked almost dry. This definitely called for Intermediates. Off the line, Vettel pipped pole-sitting team mate Mark Webber to the first corner, with Alonso hot on their heels. Jenson Button in 5th place overtook Felipe Massa in the same place to take 4th. Michael Schumacher also made good ground in the opening lap, gaining three places to become 10th by the Wellington Straight after what's now turn 4, as did Lewis Hamilton, who went from a disappointing 10th on the grid up to 7th, before overtaking Scotsman Paul Di Resta on the Hanger Straight for 6th place. Going into lap 2, Button got it wrong in the new Farm section (the first few corners) and got passed by Massa in turn 3, before team mate Hamilton went down the inside at Brooklands corner at the end of the DRS zone - although it was not active at that time - and dropped Button to 6th. Hamilton wasn't always successful in this corner, running wide two or three times and thanking the organisers for replacing the gravel with tarmac run-off area. All the while, Alonso was pressing Webber for 2nd place.

On lap 9, Michael Schumacher was trying to overtake Kamui Kobayashi going into Brooklands corner when he lost the back end on some standing water and slid into Kobayashi's left rear wheel, spinning him around and taking off the Mercedes GP's front wing. This put him in the pits twice, once for a new front wing (and the first set of slicks for the race) and once for a frankly harsh 10-second Stop 'n' Go penalty for "causing an avoidable accident". After that, Jenson Button and Adrian Sutil pitted for dry tyres as well, once Schumacher had set the fastest lap of the race thus far. Webber, Alonso and Hamilton all came in on lap 13, as did Kobayashi, who was released too soon and had to run over Force India's wheel gun to avoid Pastor Maldonado's Williams, who technically had right of way. This would've landed him a penalty for an unsafe release, had the Ferrari engine in his Sauber not given up first...

A lap later, both McLarens overtook a Ferrari each, with Button risking it on the outside of Massa at Stowe corner, keeping his foot in it as they exited the corner side-by-side and winding up with the inside line going into Vale to take 5th place, after which Hamilton went down the inside of Alonso at Copse corner (previously turn 1) to take 3rd, going off-line onto wet road on his slicks to do so and ending up on the dry line for the exit, however Alonso would take him back in the DRS zone on the following lap. Paul Di Resta's first ever home Grand Prix in Formula 1 got ruined a few laps later, when he arrived in his pit box looking at Sutil's tyres, and had to wait for the team to sort themselves out (his day wouldn't improve, as he would put a move on Sébastien Buemi into Brooklands that would break his front wing and puncture the Toro Rosso's left rear tyre). This wouldn't prove to be the only major pit error in the race.

On lap 28 of 52, Sebastian Vettel and Fernando Alonso pitted in from 1st and 2nd places, quite close to each other. Red Bull's pit box is right at the end of the pit lane, two ahead of Ferrari's, which made it very easy for us all to see when Vettel's left rear wheel failed to go on properly and Alonso drove right past him to take the lead of the race. Vettel now had his work cut out, as he exited the pits just behind Lewis Hamilton.  Over the next 8 laps however, he failed to pass Hamilton before pitting again, and Alonso pulled out a 7-second lead over the pair of them. Vettel looked good to mirror Hamilton's move on Alonso into Copse corner more than once, but backed out of it each time, strengthening my opinion that despite being the fastest man on the grid over a flying lap, he's not one for overtaking unless it's easy. In any other team, this would seriously hold him back from winning all those races if he had to fight and couldn't. I guess that's the consequence of always being in front.

The third pit-related blunder came from McLaren, when the man on Jenson Button's right front wheel tried fixing the wheel on without a wheel nut and the lollipop man mistook his reaching for the nut as a ready sign, thus sending Button out with an unsecured wheel, which he immediately noticed before pulling over on the pit exit and being wheeled away. After a great race at his home track - which he's never finished on the podium - he was forced to retire in a perfectly operational car...

The race carried on, with Webber passing Hamilton for 3rd place before reeling in team mate Sebastian Vettel in 2nd, who couldn't undo his team's error and had no answer for Alonso's sheer pace in this phase of the race, and indeed overall. With just two laps to go, Webber started to challenge Vettel for 2nd place (there's no love lost between the two RBR drivers, and perhaps Mark felt he had a point to prove). Alas, on the last lap after some very close battling, team boss Christian Horner came on the radio to Webber and simply said "Mark, maintain the gap". That's a very clear message, and one that had to be said at least five times before Webber would listen and settle for third place just 4 tenths behind the German, but nearly 17 seconds behind an ecstatic Fernando Alonso, scoring his first win of the season, his 27th overall (matching Jackie Stewart's total number of wins) and Ferrari's first win since Korea last year. But just because the leader has crossed the line, doesn't mean the entire race is over. Going into Vale, the penultimate corner, Felipe Massa dived down the outside of Lewis Hamilton in a desperate attempt to take 4th place before the end of the race, but Hamilton was having none of it, muscling his way alongside Massa going into Club before ducking behind him, getting on the inside and squeezing Massa onto the run-off area and keeping 4th, but only by a mere 0.024 seconds! 6th place went to Nico Rosberg, whose team mate Michael Schumacher managed get back into the points after a new nose and a Stop 'n' Go, finishing 9th. The two Mercedes GP drivers were separated by Sergio Pérez, Nick Heidfeld, and 17.257 seconds. Grabbing the final points-scoring position was Jaime Alguersuari in the sole remaining Toro Rosso-Ferrari, after Buemi failed to get back to the pits on three tyres.

And so ended another fantastically exciting race at good old Silverstone, home to the first ever Grand Prix. These old circuits still feature more exciting racing than the new ones, and that is clearly highlighted by putting Silverstone next to Valencia. It doesn't look old-hat now either, with the new section put in for 2010 and this year's new "Wing" facility on the relocated Start/Finish line. Personally I hope that the pre-Tilke circuits stay on the calendar for a long time to come. Next up is the another oldie, the German Grand Prix at the Nürburgring F1 track, two weekends from now. Will Vettel score a home victory? Will Webber be allowed past him? Tune in after the 24th July to find out! Or watch the race. That's advisable too.

*As usual, I don't own any of the race photos*

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Goodwood Festival of Speed '11: The Mega Gallery! (Part 2)

Welcome to Part 2 (or Part Deux, if you prefer) of my Goodwood FOS gallery from last weekend. If you missed the first part, follow this here link right here. I didn't take any pictures of the track, I'm afraid, but I did take a few videos. I'm sure other blogs will already have on-track galleries anyway, but I'll remember to buy a programme next year so I know where to be and when. Anyway, feel free to scroll through the second half of my day in pictures. Remember you can enlarge them by opening them in a new tab or window for a closer look.

A nice contrast to the FOS Tech tent nearby was this small collection of Jaguar C-Types. They really are pretty little cars, and successful racers in the early 1950s as well,with a C-Type winning the Le Mans 24H in 1951 and '53. I particularly like the side-exit exhausts.

So, er, where do I plug in my iPod?

There was a building that I must admit I didn't pay much attention to. It seemed to be a TopGear/Forza Motorsport thing, as they were selling TG mags for £1 (I subscribe, so I declined), and four Xbox 360s playing a special demo of Turn 10's latest Gran Turismo contender, Forza 4, or 4za, if you prefer. I was starving and burning hot, so I didn't have the patience to wait 20 minutes+ for a go, especially as it would've meant watching 8-year-olds bouncing off the walls for ages, which, inexplicably, infuriates me. I decided there were other things to do. The graphics just make it look like Forza 3-but-better anyway, so it probably would've felt familiar.

Some Say he has Positive Camber on his legs to improve his cornering ability. Others say that Jeremy Clarkson got that a bit wrong and that's actually called Negative Camber. All we know is, er, the second bit's true.

"Other things to do" include snapping this Citroën DS3 WRC. Why does everything with a Red Bull livery keep winning?

This wheel is, surprisingly, not from a concept car. It's from the new DS4, which is, well, bigger than a DS3. I really like Citroën's new style. They've started to recapture that trademark weirdness from their past and make it modern and, for want of a better word, 'funky'. This wheel is a great example. Would you see that on an Audi? No. Their new DS range sits just above the respective C# cars, adding a premium feel and turning the Citroën-ness up to 11 at the same time.

In some places, it's not as big as I thought it was. I knew it was roughly Focus-sized with some extra ground clearance, but the rear seats weren't as roomy as I expected, but the most annoying thing is the door. The actual door itself is perfectly fine - and has one of those Alfa Romeo-style hidden handles - but the hole it presents to rear passengers is not big enough. I hit my hip on it climbing in, hit my elbow on it when inside and hit my hip again getting out. That could get annoying over time...

I think it's an example of form over function, and to be fair it does look good. I especially like how none of the window frame gets left behind. The front felt very nice as well.

The DS3 you'll likely recognise. This is the 204bhp DS3 Racing, engineered by the Citroën World Rally Team to give both a smooth ride and proper hot-hatch madness. It's also pretty handy at getting out of a maze-like Italian town, it seems.

See that wheel arch there? That's real Carbon Fibre. None of your pretend plastic nonsense, the real stuff. I doubt it makes a huge weight difference here, but it does visually prove a point about the seriousness of its performance.

These (surprisingly thick) stickers are optional, and while you may consider them to be either gimmicky or adding to the looks, it does look like they won't last forever...

These seats were surprisingly comfortable. They hold you in very well, but they're also very soft. I felt comfier here than in the GT-R earlier, although the side bolsters seemed to have been adjusted to squeeze harder by someone playing with the switches in that...

Overall I like this car. It's come across well in reviews, and it looks and feels great. I'd love to drive one. Alas, there are only 200 Racing versions.

Not far away was sister company Peugeot. The new 508 is two generations newer than my parents' car, so I thought I'd take a look. Interestingly, it has this pop-up Head-Up Display (HUD), which shows your speed and the cruise control setting, according to this.

It certainly has a premium feel that our 406 lacks. Leather may have helped of course, but the buttons and materials felt good. It's hard to say what kind of spec this one was, because there's a plastic panel that looks like it should have more buttons on it (and combines with the air vents to make a smiley face), but it already has so many!

They even had to fill this little compartment with them, which I thought was odd. They appear to turn the driver aids off, so they're probably in here to avoid drivers pressing them by accident when they're finding out what on Earth they all do.

Another nice feature in the estate (or 'SW') was this huge full-length panoramic sunroof. Instead of sliding back - because it covers the whole roof already - it's fixed in place and you can pull a cover across it when it's too hot. I've been in a 407 SW with this, and watching it rain was quite fun in a weird way. The people who had the 407 used to have a smaller 307 SW, which they nicknamed The Fish Bowl, because it had no cover.

The new RCZ coupé felt nice too, and had a fancy clock and electronic pop-up Sat Nav. Sadly the button to raise the equally pop-uppy rear spoiler wouldn't work without the key.

Because this is a pre-508 Peugeot, it still has the old front end, giving it a Body Off Baywatch...

...and a Face Off Crimewatch.

Despite appearances, however, the RCZ isn't massively fast. It's pretty quick with the right engine, but there are Audi TTs out there that out-pace it. This 908 HYbrid4, however, is really very fast indeed. Ironically though, it's still oupaced by an Audi.

The hybrid system in this is actually quite clever, taking the idea of F1's KERS one step further by delivering the stored kinetic energy from the battery whenever the driver accelerates, rather than at the push of a button. This boost adds 80bhp to the car via an electric motor. Despite the '4' in the name, it's actually rear-wheel-drive, so I'm not sure what that stands for.

Hybrid system or not, it stil needs two of these most of the time. Just before the exhaust exit sits one of Peugeot's particulate filters for cleaner emissions, the French translation of which - Filtre A Particules - amusingly shortens down to FAP. Needless to say, they've since dropped that acronym from the car's name!

The interior is something the designers/engineers have to build, rather than something they want the car to have. That's how it seems when you peer inside one of these Le Mans Prototypes, anyway. Notice the proud Peugeot tradition of covering everything in buttons...

Something you don't often get to see with racing cars on TV is the more intricate elements of the aerodynamics. Here we can see how it channels air under the suspension and out the side of the body, as well as a brake-cooling intake.

Making its world debut (I think) was the production version of the latest and supposedly greatest incarnation of the legendary BMW M5...

...which was chaperoned by its Great Great Granddad, the E28 M5.

Despite wearing the same badges, these are actually very different animals. The original had a naturally-aspirated 3.5 litre Straight-Six from the M1, making 282bhp, the new F10 M5 is packing a 4.4 litre Twin-Turbo V8 chucking out 552bhp (and even that engine is downsizing from the 5.0 V10 in the last one).

The original generation M5 and the two that followed it were very discreet, with just fancy wheels and subtle badging giving it an underlying menace...

...whereas the two most recent ones have sported hefty bodykits and chrome trim, so those in the know could spot one at 20 paces.

And now for something completely different. Again. This is *breathes in* the Toyota GRMN Hybrid Sports Concept II. GRMN can then be expanded to "Gazoo Racing tuned by MN", whoever MN are...

The styling has proved controversial, but I like some of it. These headlights and the carbon fibre aero element have a nice 3D effect.

Weather this Gazoo MR2 will ever hit the road or not, I'm not sure. The drivetrain also seems over-complicated, with a Hybrid AWD system in which the rear wheels are driven by a 3.5 V6 and an electric motor (like a normal 2WD hybrid but rear-drive), and the front axle is then powered purely by a second leccy motor. They'd have to call it the MR4, then.

Also tuned by MN is this Gazoo iQ, complete with shiny teeth and Angry Face. It's like a pre-school kid in war paint playing Cowboys and Indians.

Under the skin it's a bit more serious. Adding a supercharger to the 1.33 4cyl engine give s 126bhp, and it's race-prepared with a rollcage and lower weight.

Aside from occasional concepts like the ones above, Toyota don't make an exciting car anymore. The Celica, the MR2, the Supra, the rear-wheel-drive Corolla coupé of the '80s, they're all part of history now. The best part of Toyota's history book is on pages 1967-1970, where you'll find the awesome 2000GT, film star, Fuji 24H winner, speed and endurance record setter, and it's not too bad on the eyes either.

Some say they copied a lot of the styling ideas from the Jaguar E-Type (which is in no way a bad source of inspiration). I don't care if they did. I just know it looks amazing. I'd even go as far as saying I prefer the way the 2000GT looks at the back, just because it's a little less... pinched.

Powered by a 2.0 litre Straight-Six tuned by Yamaha, the point of this car was to prove that, in an age of super-reliable-but-super-dull three box saloons, Japan could make a truly desirable car to rival the best European sports cars. With a small-but-luxurious interior, 150bhp and a 135mph top speed, it was very highly rated, even against the Porsche 911. It is now rare and highly sought after, the first Japanese car to be associated with such terms. Only 337 were built, along with 2 topless versions so that Sean Connery could fit in it for the 007 film You Only Live Twice. Toyota should make a spiritual successor to this, as they now have exactly the same conservative image problem they did back then...

Mazda have a decent history for interesting and exciting cars too, and unlike Toyota they continue that today, with this flyweight MX-5 GT, packing 275bhp and weighing just 850kg (a normal family car is about 1400-1700kg). It also seems to be very happy about it.

Currently 5th in the British Endurance Championship, this must be a hoot to drive, given the road-going MX-5's reputation as a sports car.

Sitting next to it is a customised concept by Banzai Magazine, who cover modified Japanese cars. I'm sure you'll have seen this kind of thing before - matte black, red trim and wheels, racey decals and Japanese lettering.

What I hope you definitely have seen before is this (well, you can't exactly miss it): the Mazda 787B.

This very car, after being restored in time to celebrate its 20th birthday at Le Mans, was sent up the hill. I waited eagerly at the start line. It. Was. LOUD. Like a grizzly F1 car, and just as high-pitched. It was awesome.

Like most MR racing cars, the gearbox is right at the back. The 787B won the Le Mans 24H in 1991, which is the year I was born! This is a few months older than me though.

The 787B is a very significant car for both Japan and Le Mans - it's the first and only Japanese car to win the 24 Hours, as well as the only car to win it without using a piston engine, as it utilised a 4-piece rotary engine. Despite only displacing 2.6 litres, and despite not having a turbo or supercharger, the 4-rotor R26B engine produced up to 900bhp at 9000rpm. No wonder the thing's such a screamer!

For the race, Mazdaspeed decided to limit the power output to 700bhp to ensure the engine would last for 24 hours. This reliability gave them the edge over slightly faster competitors for the race, because they could drive the car harder over a long period. Also keeping it fast was a carbon-kevlar construction helping to give it a weight of just 830kg, which just undercuts a Lotus Elise. In delimited qualifying trim, that's over 1000bhp/tonne, surely rivalling F1 cars of the time.

This would prove to pay off, as they started the race with the #55 car you see here starting in 19th place and fighting its way up to 2nd through evening and night. Then, with 2 hours to go, the lead Sauber C11 had mechanical problems that forced it into the pit, letting the #55 car scream past to take the historic win with Johnny Herbert at the wheel, who helped the car set a new distance record for the chicaned Sarthe Circuit, covering 4932.2km and doing 362 laps.

Since its win, rotary engines have been banned in sportscar racing. Mazda knew this was going to happen, and saw the '91 Le Mans as their last chance to prove the rotary's worth. They continued using it in their RX-# road cars, but sadly the RX-8 recently had to be put down. Rumour has it they're bringing it, or the more successful RX-7 back, which would be a good thing for Japanese sports cars. I'm pretty sure the only ones left are the Nissan GT-R and the obscenely expensive Lexus LFA. Oh, and the little MX-5, which has surpassed 900,000 sales now.

Even though you can see its, er, 'vibrant' livery in these pictures, I'm afraid you don't know how bright this thing actually is. The green is one thing, but the orange is like hi-vis jacket meets highlighter pen. I'm surprised it needs headlights!

All that power has to escape through a single exhaust pipe, mounted on one side with vents to cool it. Most of those vents are on the other side too, as you can see, which is probably to avoid a lop-sided drag coefficient, or to further cool the engine.

And this is a rotary engine like the 787B has. First used by Mazda in the Cosmo Sport, the triangular part spins round a bit like a Spirograph, allowing air in at one end, compressing it against the flat side, and squeezing exhaust out the end. There's an animation here.

This is the aforementioned Cosmo Sport 110S, so called because its one litre 2-Rotor power unit made 110bhp. It was hand made at the rate of about one a day, with 1519 cars made from 1967 to 1972.

I've always thought that the tail of this car was very long, but it may just be the short cockpit. Although it was never offered as such, that short roof almost makes it look like a convertible.

And now for something else completely different, and despite the coolness you've just seen, this is cooler, sexier at the very least.

I can only apologise for not getting a decent side-view shot, but as you would expect, there was quite a crowd, and if I stepped back, someone would've got in the way. Still, from this side you can still peek into the interior. The driver's side is all red leather, while the passenger's side is in black. Just so you know who's more important.

In a manner of speaking, the 4C is meant to be Alfa Romeo's Lotus Elise. It's got a mid-mounted 4-cylinder engine (hence the name, which is how they used to name their race cars as well as the 2007 8C Competizione), and it has a very low weight. I like the short rear overhang in this picture. Makes it look low and sporty.

Thanks to its carbon fibre tub and aluminium subframes, it will weigh a minuscule 850kg, which is significantly less than a current Fiat 500. On top of that, it will have the 1750cc turbo engine from the Giulietta Cloverleaf, which produces 235bhp. That should make it pretty damn fast.

I love this matte red paint. It really highlights the lines well under various lighting conditions.

This new flagship car is meant to be aimed more at more typical Alfa customers than the £120k 8C, with target prices at around £40-45k when it arrives next year. Orders are being taken now, which is unsurprising. In person, this car is mesmerisingly beautiful, and with paper figures like these, would you pass up the chance?

Elsewhere in the Alfa building was the MiTo Cloverleaf, which is based on my car (a Fiat Grande Punto), so I thought I'd take a look. I thought this gearknob was a bit glitzy...

Like the DS3 Racing we saw earlier (doesn't it seem like such a long time ago now?), it featured bucket seats that were surprisingly confortable. I'd say the Citroën's were softer, and they definitely allowed for more legroom in the back than these, but damn they look cool.

Along with the Giulietta (which I liked but didn't love) was this 159 TI Sportwagon, which was lovely. If you're looking at a somewhat luxurious family car, please have a look at one of these. It should spice up your life like no 3-Series Touring or Mondeo Estate or 508 SW ever could. It's also available in black. With tan leather. Mmmmm...

Back in the FOS Tech tents, there was this Renault Captur concept. I'm not sure what technical innovations it brings, but it looks future-y.

There was also this car. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it says EEMS on it and is sat next to what appears to be a charging point, so I guess it's an electric car. It had an interesting body that was part McLaren F1...

...and part Honda CR-Z.

Also electric is the Peugeot EX-1, which recently set the electric car lap record at the Nürburgring Nordschleife at just over 9 minutes. Somehow, the range was long enough for it to complete a whole lap without charging...

The interior of the Renault Captur includes lots of orange stringy stuff. I'm not sure what practical and technical justifications there are for this, but it looks future-y.

At a completely different part of the big field full of exhibitors was Paul Simon, restorers and modifiers of Porsches. This front end of a 917K le Mans car is actually a two-person chair. How much do you want one of those?! You can also get a Gulf-liveried version if you're a Steve McQueen fan.

Among the RS replicas and perfect restorations was this peculiar speedster-style 911.

At this point in the day, I decided it was time to head homeward. However, that meant going back through Gasoline Alley, so I still saw some picture-worthy cars, like this Peugeot 905. The 905 inspired the 908, and it won the Le Mans 24H in 1992 and 93. While looking at this, a small Japanese man with a camera was poring over it, who bore a stark resemblance to Gran Turismo series creator Kazunori Yamauchi. I'll never know if it really was him, though. I'll just have to watch out for him next year...

Not far away was this BMW-McLaren F1 GT. While it's probably more aerodynamic, I never really preferred the long GT bodywork. The shorter road car and GTR version look better IMO.

You may not have seen this car before, unless you've visited the Porsche Museum in Stuttgart. There is only one of these, and that has always been true. Complementing the 959 supercar and Group B rally car that won the Paris-Dakar, the 961 went into sportscar racing. It proved to be a bit of a misfit, however, as it was faster than other Group B cars, but slower than the Croup C cars it was classed with at Daytona. As a result, it only entered 3 races, winning its class at Le Mans in 1986 and not doing very well in the other two (a round of the GT Championship at Daytona where it had a high-speed puncture and the 1987 Le Mans 24H in which it caught fire), so the project was scrapped. It has been restored and rushed up Goodwood Hill, sounding every bit like a racing Porsche thanks to its 2.9 flat-6 from a 935.

Much better known is the 962 Group C car that raced at around the same time. It was a dominant force throughout its racing life, winning Le Mans twice, and a third time in "Dauer 962" guise when it was modified as a GT1 car and raced privately. In fact, Wikipedia lists its achievements thus: "The championships won by teams campaigning the 962 included the World Sportscar Championship title in 1985 and 1986, the IMSA GT Championship every year from 1985 to 1988, the Interserie championship from 1987 until 1992, all four years of the Supercup series (1986 to 1989), and the All Japan Sports Prototype Championship from 1985 until 1989. The 962 also won the 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1986 and 1987 as well as later winning under the Dauer 962 badge in 1994." That's quite something all right. Here it is in its most famous Rothmans livery.

This is quite possibly the maddest and baddest racing car ever: the Porsche 917/30 CanAm car. With the turbos turned up to full boost for qualifying (at a whopping 2.7 bar, or 39psi), this 816kg car's 5.4L flat-12 TT produced a frankly ridiculous 1580bhp, the highest power output of any racing car in history before or since. You want speed figures? 0-60 could be dealt with in 1.9 seconds - thanks in part to massive racing slicks - and 0-100mph in just 3.9s. It takes a modern supercar ~3.5 seconds to reach 60mph. The madness doesn't stop there. The fastest cars of today take at least 20 seconds to hit 200mph. This takes 10.9 seconds. The top speed was a terrifying 260+mph, in an open-cockpit car with 1970s aerodynamics and bugger-all safety devices. Its sheer dominance in the CanAm series eventually lead to not just the car, but the whole race series being shut down, to avoid the future possibility of a horrendous high-speed accident. Awesome.

Somewhat less successful was Porsche's short-lived single-seater campaign. This is a Porsche 718 Formula 2 car. I really like the bodywork on this. Porsche seem to be really good at making purposeful-yet-curvaceous bodies like this, that still translate into the current 911 and Boxster/Cayman, particularly in the rear wheel arches.

These are the similarly monstrous Auto Union Grand Prix cars from the 1930s/40s. Featuring a V16, the Type C was the Red Bull RB7 of its time.

Mmmm, V16. The great thing about Goodwood is that you can see cars evolve from big-yet-rudimentary wartime stuff...

...to the sophisticated prototypes of today. This R10 is one diesel-powered Audi Le Mans winner...

...and this is another, the R18 TDI that won this year's 24 Hours, despite both sister cars suffering terrible accidents.

I like the aero details on cars like these. This is a layered vent on the front wheel arch, perhaps to vent brake heat or let rotating air escape from the wheel well.

The interior is even messier than the Peugoet 908's we saw earlier. At least the driver has a tumble dryer pipe blowing cold air into his face, otherwise it would get horribly stuffy in there over 24 hours.

Just behind the front wheels is this fin arrangement. If you look down it, you can actually see out of a little hole in the front. Channelling air through the car like this is important for high-speed aerodynamics. My guess (using pub science) is that sending the air through the car rather than forcing all of it over/under the body avoids generating lift (like that wing-shaped Mercedes CLR that flipped over at Le Mans in '98) and lowers drag. Lower drag = higher top speed.

Huge fins running down the spine of the car have been banned in F1 this year, but the LMP cars still have them, because they apparently stop the car flipping over in a high-speed spin. I don't know if this connection to the rear wing is part of an equally banned-in-F1 "F-Duct" system or not.

Next to the R18 was a set of lightly used slick tyres. As you can see, the wheel spokes are quite solid, but aren't nearly as deep as the wheel rim. This is probably to save weight, or because they're strong enough not to need that much depth. Little chunks are taken out of the side to shed that little bit of extra weight as well.

You can just about see all four of the wheels in this shot.

What's 20 years between family? McLaren always put a Hugo BOSS logo under their drivers' names. Senna truly was a Boss, but unfortunately for McLaren, Kimi Raikkonen didn't become a Boss until he went to Ferrari in 2007 and won the championship.

I took one more shot of the little Fiat 500 I saw this morning. Just because it's cool.

Also going up and down the hill was the new McLaren MP4-12C, in both road car and GT3 guises. The road car didn't sound too spectacular to be honest, even with Lewis Hamilton donutting it in front of the crowd.

There was also this McLaren... er... Somethingorother.

Getting closer to the exit, I spotted that Toyota had a little tent, featuring a black group B-style rally car of some sort, this #88 Lexus Gazoo Racing LFA which competed in the 2011 Nürburgring 24H...

...and this awesome GT-One, which competed in the 1998 Le Mans 24H. The GT-One was in a perfect position to win this race, as it was fast enough to qualify on pole, as well as 3rd and 5th. Alas, after dropping to 2nd, the gearbox failed on this #29 car, taking it out of the race. GT-Ones returned the following year, but with no real success. It's a shame really, because in every way this car is cool.

The interior is somewhat cleaner than the Audi's, and the seat is more substantial. What struck me was not only how low it was, but how much easier it is to get in, thanks to the huge doors.

But surely huge doors add huge weight compared to the little flaps on the R18? Not as much as it may appear, as not only are they carbon fibre (naturally), but they are hollow, and there's a very good reason for that, as perhaps indicated by the grille that sits inside it...

It's because it's actually part of the cooling system, acting as an air channel to feed the F1-style side-mounted intercoolers.

Like many (if not all) modern prototypes, the rear section is very curved. Previously, I thought it was more like a dome shaped roof that sort of joined on to a flatter surface which curved very 2-dimensionally towards the rear, but here it all flows as one piece. It's very pretty.

A closer shot of the cockpit. Le Mans cars are right-hand drive, partly to pretend that these are vaguely-road-relevant two-seaters, but also because the Sarthe circuit has mostly right-handed turns, and weighing down the "inside" side of the car improves lateral weight distribution for these corners by affecting the body roll.

I'm not sure what is under this black vent just ahead of the rear wheel. I had a look, and it might be a turbo, as this red bit connects to a grey snail-like part similar to the turbos on the F1 engine.

I've occasionally wondered how they actually adjust the downforce on these cars, and I expected it to be a little more precise than a choice of 5 screw holes. Maybe they're predetermined positions or settings, and the driver has to just choose the best one for each track. He/she'd get a bit annoyed if the best setting was inbetween two screw holes though. Le Mans calls for quite a shallow wing angle, because too much drag on the four very long straights would be a disadvantage too great to be made up with better cornering speeds near the ends of the lap. Goodwood probably doesn't ask for much wing either. They're not particularly high-speed corners on a racing car scale.

This is a Renault turbo F1 engine. Only a 1.5-litre V6, it still chucked out around 1000bhp in race trim.

This is a more recent naturally aspirated V8, also made by Renault, who currently power Red Bull and both Lotus teams.

Here's a lineup of Renault-powered F1 cars over the last 20 years or so, including Mansell's Williams Renault in the foreground, which I had a toy of when I was little (I might still have it somewhere, in fact, with Camel sponsors present and correct). I've read in the news that Williams has now signed a deal with Renault to restart this partnership. Here's hoping it brings them the success a team of their stature deserves.

As a nice little treat for staying so long, a Ferrari Enzo poked out to say hello. I've only ever seen one in person once, on the M25. Of course, I didn't get to look at it for very long then.

There were other interesting cars in the car park too, like a middle-generation E39 BMW M5 (unless I've been fooled by a dead ringer). It had the four exhaust pipes and the right wheels to be an M5, anyway. Otherwise this is just a picture of a blue 5-Series...

This definitely is an M car, a new 1-M Coupé. I tried to get a shot of this at BMWs stand, but it was absolutely covered in people trying to sit in it, so I had to settle for a customer's car.

This little car is a Caterham 21, a car I've only ever seen once before - and that was in a book, so I'm not sure it counts. It's the only non-7 car they've built, aside from the brand new SP/300.R in the first half of the Mega Gallery. Actually based on a 7, it simply has more conventional sports car bodywork with "toblerones" to keep it rigid, and is otherwise mechanically the same as a 7. That's not the colour I would've chosen, but it does look good from this angle. The same's not quite true at the back, however, as it has the tail lights from a Mk.1 Ford Mondeo, which looks a little weird!

Other cars of note were a TVR Chimaera and a Noble M12 GTO 3R...

...a tuned Subaru Impreza WRX STI Estate...

...a limited-edition Exige, one of countless Lotuses (Lotii?) that turned up that day...

...a rarer Europa S, as well as a few Porsches and a Ferrari F355. The Honda S2000 in the corner is nice, too.

As I went home, I even had time in the traffic to snap this weird-but-wonderful Citroën C6. WOH indeed.

Apart from sunburn and all these pictures, my souvenir from this trip was a diecast model of an AMG SLS. I challenged myself to get a decent 1:18 scale model for £40 or less, which proved to be just as much of a bugger as I feared it would be. I don't like how diecast prices have increased in recent years. There was a time not long ago when £40 was normal, or even relatively expensive. Now, most of the quality ones go for anything from £50-200 plus... Oh well, it has working doors and a pop-up spoiler - which I later discovered goes up higher than that - and it's really not that bad for £20 (reduced from £30).

So you made it to the bottom! Congratulations. Hopefully I didn't waste too much of your day. I'll be writing about my actual day over the weekend, and a few of these images may pop up again, so don't worry if you think you missed one or something. Feel free to click around and find more of my blog posts. I promise you none of them are anywhere near this long!

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